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Archive for June 17th, 2008|Daily archive page

Aktivti Timb Speaker dan Exco Pendidikan pada 17/06/08: Menemuduga calon ahli PBT Sabak Bernam

In 1 on June 17, 2008 at 7:13 pm

Seramai lebih kurang lapan puluh calon telah ditemuduga pada 17hb Jun 2008 bagi mengisi kekosongan sebagai ahli Majlis Perbandaran atau Pihak Berkuasa Tempatan.


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PATAH TUMBUH HILANG BERGANTI: DR M KELUAR EZAM MASUK

In Dr Khir Toyo, Dr mahathir on June 17, 2008 at 6:27 pm

Pada tanggal 19hb Mei 2008 yang lalu Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad mantan Perdana Menteri dan Presiden UMNO selama 22 tahun mengisytiharkan dirinya keluar dari parti UMNO. Walaupun umur beliau telah menjangkau lebih lapan puluh tahun (lahir pada 20 Disember 1925)
namun Tun masih cergas, cerdas, tajam pemikiran dan pandangan serta berpandangan jauh, menjangkau 2020. Apapun, keluarnya beliau dari UMNO adalah keluar yang bersyarat, bukan selama-lamanya (jika panjang umur). Ia merupakan ‘keluar parti” protes tanda tak setuju. Dulu semasa beliau menjadi PM, ada anggota dewan rakyat yang keluar dewan sebagai protes. Selepas itu anggota yang telah keluar dewan masuk balik semula. Agaknya beginilah tindakan Tun masakini.
Sebagai pengganti Tun Dr M yang keluar UMNO, rakyat Malaysia dikejutkan dengan kemasukan Ezam, bekas ketua GERAK dan lain-lain jawatan ke dalam UMNO pada 28hb Mei 2008 yang lalu. Alasan Ezam untuk pulang ke pangkuan UMNO ialah kerana ia berpuas hati dengan pembaharuan yang dijanjikan oleh Datuk Seri Abdullah, Perdana Menteri Malaysia.

Kemasukan Ezam ke dalam UMNO mencetuskan pelbagai spekulasi, namun Dato’ Seri Dr Khir Toyo, ketua pembangkang Selangor, mantan Menteri Besar tidak mempersoalkan keikhlasan Ezam sedikitpun kerana pada pendapat DR Khir, Ezam masuk semula ke dalam UMNO tanpa syarat, tanpa desakan dan tiada paksaan.

Dipanjangkan umur, sama-sama kita ikuti perkembangan kedua-dua tokoh iaitu Ezam dan Dr M.

BUDAYA BOHSIA, BOHJAN, BUNTING, BUNUH BUANG

In bohjan, bohsia, bunuh buang on June 17, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Para petani menanam benih padi berharap padi akan jadi, tetapi sungguh malang, yang naik hanyalah lalang. Tuan tanah terbiar tidak pernah berharap atau berdoa padi akan tumbuh di tanahnya malah berpuas hati jika lalang sahaja yang naik. Begitulah hidup ini, jika kita berusaha, berikhtiar dan berdoa agar suatu natijah yang baik akan timbul dari usaha titik peluh kita belum tentu lagi usaha kita dijamin kejayaan, tetapi sebaliknya jika kita memulakan sesuatu yang tidak baik, jangan mimpi hasilnya tiba-tiba jadi cemerlang. Ini adalah sunnatullah.

Wahai para ibu bapa, jangan biarkan anak-anak zuriat kita dinodai oleh tangan-tangan kotor yang sentiasa melambai-lambai dan mengamit di mana sahaja anak-anak kita berada, sama ada di sekolah, di pasar raya, di padang permainan, di majlis kenduri atau di mana jua mereka berada.

Cemburuilah anak-anak kita, siapa kawannya, siapa yang menelefonnya, siapa teman belajarnya, siapa jejaka yang mengekorinya dan siapa gadis yang meminatinya.

Budaya bohsia, bohjan, bunting, bunuh dan buang kian menjadi-jadi. Sebelum kita salahkan orang lain, periksa dahulu diri kita, adakah kita sudah menunaikan tanggung jawab mendidik, menasihati, menunjukkan contoh teladan yang baik, memberi kaunseling, memenangi hati anak-anak, meluangkan masa untuk anak-anak dan mengawasi tindak tanduk serta pergerakan mereka?

Jika di luar sana kita mempunyai kawalan yang amat sedikit ke atas anak-anak kita, apabila mereka di dalam rumah, pastikan kita menyediakan persekitaran yang baik untuk perkembangan dan tumbesaran anak-anak. Jika kita telah mempunyai set TV yang dapat menerima pelbagai saluran secara percuma, jangan di tambah pula dengan saluran-saluran yang berbayar seperti ASTRO. Jika kita banyak menghabiskan masa bekerja di luar, kemudahan internet jika ada perlu pemantauan.

Biasakan anak-anak dengan perbincangan mengenai agama, alim ulama’ dan buku-buku berfaedah. Tidak cukup setakat menghantar anak-anak belajar iqra’ atau muqaddam. Mereka perlu dibawa ke majlis ilmu dan program keagamaan. Jika anda terlibat dengan program USRAH, tolong libatkan anak-anak sama. Jangan kita ke usrah, anak tak tahu ke mana hala tujunya.

Ramai ibu bapa menghantar anak-anak ke sekolah agama persendirian yang menawarkan persekolah satu sesi dan pembelajaran bersepadu atau integrasi. Tahniah. Teruskan usaha, namun di rumah kita jangan alpa. Tindak tanduk dan gelagat kita diawasi oleh anak-anak. Usah kita umpama ketam menyeruh anaknya berjalan betul.

Kita sendiri mesti melibatkan diri dengan aktiviti kemasyarakatan seperti program rukun tetangga, PIBG, persatuan penduduk dan sebagainya. Bawa anak-anak kita dalam program-program yang dianjurkan. Sebarang anasir yang tidak baik di kawasan kediaman kita, laporkan segera ke pihak Polis atau agensi yang berkenaan. Salurkan maklumat kegiatan tidak bermoral kepada pihak berwajib seperti penjualan VCD/DVD lucah, kafe siber yang menjadi pusat kegiatan maksiat, pusat karaoke yang menjadi sarang dadah dan seumpamanya. Lantik dan pilih wakil rakyat yang mampu memperjuangkan aspek moral, etika dan pembinaan generasi beriman serta bertaqwa.

Jika kita tidak mampu menasihati anak-anak kita yang difikirkan ia sudah “di luar kawalan kita”, jangan lokek duit untuk menghantar anak-anak ke pelbagi program hujung minggu atau cuti sekolah seperti Smart Solat, Summer Camp, MAP, Bina Insan dan lain-lain. Biasanya “orang luar” mampu menunjukkan ” jalan keluar” kepada anak kita. Setelah mereka berubah, beri sokongan dalam apa jua bentuk sekalipun. Jadikan dan suburkan TABIAT yang baru diperolehi dari kursus-kursus yang dihadhiri agar menjadi BUDAYA yang baik pada anak kita.

Sekali sekala jika berlaku perselisihan faham atau berlainan pendapat, ibu bapa janganlah cepat melatah dan naik angin lantas menghalau anak-anak terutama anak perempuan keluar dari rumah. Tindakan ibu bapa sebegini adalah tiket untuknya lari dari rumah. Perbuatan berleter atau mengikut emosi marah mengeruhkan suasana di rumah. Sang ibu jangan cepat nak mengadu pada Si bapa yang baru sampai di rumah dari tempat kerja. Pilih waktu yang sesuai untuk menasihati anak-anak.

Jika anak sudah terlanjur dan terlajak melakukan kerja sumbang dengan pasangan atau rakannya, berbincanglah secara rasional. Libatkan kaunselor, doktor Muslim dan pihak-pihak lain yang difikirkan perlu. Hubungi talian yang berkenaan untuk mendapat maklumat agar dapat bertindak dengan wajar dan berhikmah. Jangan sekali-kali mengusir anak perempuan yang sudah mengandung keluar dari rumah membawa nasibnya sendirian. Jika anda lakukan itu, bermakna nasibnya kini di tangan ibu/bapa ayam, lelaki jalang/jalanan, rumah lindungan penukar aqidah dan sebagainya.

Biasanya seorang perempuan yang hamil dapat dikesan dari perubahan yang berlaku dari segi kesihatan, perwatakan, potongan badan dan sebagainya. Memang terdapat segelintir kaum wanita yang tidak dapat dicam yang ia hamil terutama anak gadis yang baru akil baligh di mana kitaran haidhnya memang tidak menentu. Terdapat wanita hamil yang bernasib baik tidak mengalami “mabuk” di peringkat awal mengandung. Sebab itu terdapat para pelajar yang hamil di asrama tetapi tidak dapat dikesan oleh guru-guru.

Begitulah serba sedikit panduan dan peringatan untuk kita semua. Rajin-rajinlah berdoa untuk dikurnikan anak-anak yang soleh/solehah yang menjadi penyejuk mata kedua ibu bapa. “Tanamlah padi dari sekarang agar padi yang tumbuh. Jika terdapat lalang di samping pokok padi, cepat-cepat cabut atau racun lalang yang tumbuh, agar pokok padi berpeluang hidup berbunga serta berbuah”. Teruskan membaca..

GANJARAN LUMAYAN MENANTI ANDA

In KDRM, penyeludupan on June 17, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Kastam DiRaja Malaysia (KDRM) telah mengumumkan dalam satu kenyatannya bahawa pemberi maklumat berkaitan penyeludupan , penghasilan rokok palsu dan yang berkaitan dengan bidang kuasanya sehingga selesai siasatan akan diberi ganjaran lumayan dalam bentuk wang tunai dalam lingkungan ribuan atau ratusan ringgit. Pemberi maklumat juga dirahsiakan identiti serta dilindungi dari ancaman pihak tertentu. Jika anda mempunyai maklumat tentang penyeludupan segera hubungi 1-800-88-8855 atau 03-31792321.

EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY BUT TOO SHY TO ASK

In gay, kecelaruan jantina, lelaki lembut, lesbian, paedophilia, penkid on June 17, 2008 at 1:18 am

We are bringing to you a synthesis of the latest top stories from the LOS ANGELES

TIMES on the current situation in the USA as far as same sex marriages are

concerned. We have included a Bahasa article (Q&A) written by Dr Sapora Sipon

on male homosexuality (gay). Finally the present state of knowledge put forward

by scientists regarding the aetiology of homosexuality concludes the reports.

The objective of the whole exercise is to educate the masses especially the parents as to the menace of homosexuality amongst the adolescence and the youth. The disintegration of religious and moral values, the influence of the media especially the electronic media, the infiltration of western immoral and liberal culture and the compromising attitude of the authorities are some of the contributing factors to the spread of this social illnes.

Finally as Muslims we have been warned by our Creators as to the dangers and perils awaiting those societies that condone or recognize homosexuality as a norm and permit its practice. May God save us from this evil practice.

GAY MARRIAGE : FROM LOS ANGELES TIMES

Some gays are asking themselves: ‘I do?’


Gay marriage

Couples apply for marriage licenses at the San Francisco city clerk’s office

Associated Press
Jennie Talley, left, and Inga Sarda-Sorensen pose on the terrace of their New York apartment. The New Yorkers, who have been partners for more than 10 years, plan to travel to Southern California in mid-September to get married.
The recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage produces both community euphoria and individual ambivalence.
By Mary Engel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 15 2008

The recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage produces both community euphoria and individual ambivalence. By Mary Engel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer June 15, 2008 In the weeks since the California Supreme Court’s historic ruling legalizing same-sex marriage, gay men and lesbians have hugged, kissed, popped bottles of bubbly and danced in the streets.

Some have also looked themselves in the mirror and asked: “I do?”

Marriage laws by state Lawsuits in defense of gay marriage can backfire, activist groups warn California high court refuses to stay gay marriage ruling Beneath the widespread community euphoria at having the right to marry lies some individual ambivalence about actually doing so.

Yes, there will be a rush of weddings beginning Tuesday, the day most counties will start issuing marriage licenses (a few are to begin Monday night). But there will also be questions, though not always voiced aloud:

Is this the right person? Is this the right time? Is marriage right for me?

“Up until now, we’ve never had to think about those questions,” said the Rev. Neil G. Thomas, senior pastor at Metropolitan Community Church Los Angeles, which was founded to minister to the gay community when many mainline churches wouldn’t.

Gay couples have long held commitment ceremonies, registered as domestic partners or just grown old together in lifelong committed relationships.

But marriage?

“In a sense, it changes nothing,” said Jeffrey Chernin, a family therapist who works with both gay and straight couples.

“But in another sense, it changes everything.”

Some couples welcome the change. Ron Elecciri, 43, who works in television development, and his partner of 11 years, attorney Andy Birnbaum, 38, have been waiting for this ruling since the high court nullified their 2004 San Francisco marriage.

“Both Andy and I did not hesitate to say we’re going to be married again,” Elecciri said. “The only decision we’re not together on is whether we want a big wedding reception or not.”

Other couples face bigger divides. Marcy Israel, a San Luis Obispo wedding photographer, would like to marry her partner of 13 years now that she finally can. But she knows her partner is not as enthusiastic.

“We haven’t had a real in-depth discussion yet, but she questions the whole idea of marriage for anyone,” Israel said.

She said her partner “feels no need of outward reinforcement for what she feels.” Israel, on the other hand, is “more romantic and also more political. I feel that the more gay couples in committed relationships who take this step, the harder it will be to say sorry, you hundred thousand people, but you’re no longer married.”

One West Hollywood professional said that even though he has been with his partner for seven years, and they’re shopping for a house together, “there’s a little ambivalence about marriage.”

“It all came up so suddenly,” said the man, who asked not to be identified because he is reluctant to have intimate details of his personal life “popping up on Google.”

“Straight people enter into dating and courtship with marriage always out there as a possibility throughout the relationship,” he said. “It wasn’t even a possibility for us, and then all of a sudden there’s this looming question: Do we want to get married? It’s this whole new commitment I hadn’t really thought about.”

For gay couples, he said, the decision carries pressure to act quickly, since marriage will no longer be an option if a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage passes in November.

“I think this whole marriage thing is causing more anxiety and fights among gay couples than anything has before,” he said.

Crowd


Reader Q&A on gay marriage

By Rong-Gong Lin II, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 13, 2008

With gay marriage set to begin in California on Monday, The Times is answering readers’ questions on the subject. You can submit questions at ron.lin@latimes.com. Check out full coverage of the debate about the gay marriage issue at latimes.com/gaymarriage. Also available: The Times’ gay marriage page on Facebook. Here is a sampling of questions:

If the November constitutional amendment passes and is upheld, would gay marriages conducted between now and November still have legal standing? –Carlos

It’s unclear. It’s likely that supporters and opponents of same-sex marriage will argue about that in court.

If it did pass, when would it take effect?–Carlos

If it passed, it would likely be challenged in the courts by supporters of same-sex marriage.

What are the tax ramifications?–Carlos

Under the ruling, same-sex married couples, like domestic partners, are allowed to file joint income tax returns for state taxes, but not federal taxes.

How do I change the name on my passport?

Once you change your name with the Social Security Administration, send a completed name change form and certified copy of your marriage certificate to the U.S. Passport Agency.

Could the constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage be challenged in court before the election?

It’s possible. According to The Times’ Maura Dolan, some of the gay rights groups are considering challenging it on the grounds that it revises, rather than amends, the state constitution. An attorney who e-mailed the Times, John H. Scott of Sherman Oaks, wrote that the state constitution cannot be revised by initiative.

What will civil marriage commissioners say when giving the wedding vows?

Here’s the wording recommendation from the County Clerks Assn. of California: “By virtue of the authority vested in me, as a Deputy Commissioner of Marriages for the County of XXX, I now pronounce this couple united in marriage under the laws of the state of California.”

My partner and I had a civil union in Vermont. Can we get married in California now?

Yes. If you are unmarried, you may get married in California.

Where can I apply for a marriage license?

Both would-be spouses must appear in person at a county clerk’s office with photo identification and cash, check, or money order to pay for the license fees and, if desired, a ceremony.

Here’s the process for counties in Southern California:

Los Angeles County: No appointment is needed to apply for a marriage license. Wedding ceremonies at the county clerk’s office in Norwalk are on a first come, first served basis only on Tuesday and June 21; appointments are required at all other times and locations. It costs $70 for the license and $25 for the ceremony. Starting on Monday at 5 p.m., applicants can begin to fill out the application online, but must come into a clerk’s office to receive the license.

Orange County: Appointments are accepted but not required. The license costs $61.50, and the ceremony $28; debit cards are also accepted. Those who start their application online before arriving at the clerk’s office are given priority.

California high court refuses to stay gay

marriage ruling

From the Associated Press
9:44 AM PDT, June 4, 2008

California’s highest court has refused to stay until after the November election its decision legalizing same-sex marriage in the state.

Conservative religious and legal groups had asked the California Supreme Court to stop its order from becoming effective until voters have the chance to weigh in on the issue.

An initiative that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage has qualified for the ballot. Its passage would overrule the court’s decision.

The Supreme Court says its ruling will be final at 5 p.m. on June 16.

Wednesday’s denial clears the way for gays and lesbians in the nation’s most populous state to get married starting June 17, when state officials have said counties must start issuing new gender-neutral marriage licenses

Lawsuits in defense of gay marriage can backfire,

activist groups warn

Legal actions to make the U.S. or other states recognize California unions could lead to ‘bad’ rulings and setbacks in the movement, activists say.
By Maura Dolan, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 11, 2008

SAN FRANCISCO — — With only a few days left before gays can marry in California, nine major gay rights groups asked couples Tuesday not to sue the federal government or other states to have their California nuptials recognized, saying that legal action could harm the marriage equality movement.

In an unusual six-page memorandum, written for same-sex couples, groups ranging from the American Civil Liberties Union to Lambda Legal warned that lawsuits would invite “bad” court rulings that could take years to overturn.

Bad rulings will make it much more difficult for us to win marriage, and will certainly make it take much longer,” the memo said.

Legal experts said the statement appeared to be an effort by groups who have successfully fought for gay marriage in California to maintain control of the litigation and reflected a fear that much of the rest of the country is not yet ready to embrace marriage for gay men and lesbians.

The memo “is a stark recognition of how their efforts have fared in the rest of the country any time the issue has been taken up in the ballot box,” said John Eastman, dean of the Chapman University School of Law. “It is a tactical call that they are not quite ready yet in other states and not even in California to deal with the federal issue.”

Twenty-seven states have passed constitutional amendments banning gay marriage, and only the high courts of California and Massachusetts have approved it. A ballot measure to reinstate California’s marriage ban is headed for the November ballot.

“Eventually the U.S. Supreme Court is going to have to rule on whether states have to recognize same-sex marriages from Massachusetts and California,” said Duke University law professor Erwin Chemerinsky. “What they want is to postpone that as long as possible because attitudes are changing quickly, and the more marriage equality gets entrenched, the more it is going to be widely accepted.”

If the U.S. Supreme Court considered the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which permits states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriage in other states, the current court would likely split 5 to 4, with Justice Anthony M. Kennedy being an unpredictable swing vote, some scholars believe.

Gay rights groups aren’t ready yet to take that risk.

Jon W. Davidson, legal director of Lambda Legal, called the joint statement “unprecedented,” particularly since it came from so many groups.

The memorandum says marriage rights should be tackled first in state courts, and only in states with courts “that may be ready to do the right thing.” Marriage cases are pending before the high courts in Iowa and Connecticut, and gay rights groups are hoping the legislatures of New York and New Jersey will eventually remove bans on gay marriage.

Advocacy groups were largely successful in discouraging lawsuits by couples who wed in Massachusetts and then sought to have their marriages recognized elsewhere. One same-sex couple from Massachusetts filed suit in Florida and lost. Now Florida voters are being asked to amend the state constitution to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples.

Unlike Massachusetts, California has no residency requirements for couples wishing to wed, and tens of thousands of same-sex couples are expected to travel to the state to marry. Experts believe that at least some will return home and bring legal actions.

Asked whether the memo was likely to prevent lawsuits, Davidson said: “I guess we’ll just have to see whether it is successful or not.”

The statement said that “early and unnecessary” court losses over marriage rights in Arizona and Indiana “hurt our other cases.” Courts in New York, Washington state and Maryland narrowly rejected same-sex marriage and adopted some of the “contorted reasoning” from those decisions, the memo said.

“Because so far, more marriage cases have been lost than won, taking on a principled but long-shot case and racking up more losses now just makes it harder to convince other courts and legislatures,” the memo said.

Mathew Staver, found of Liberty Counsel, which opposes same-sex marriage, predicted that once weddings start in California, the groups “won’t be able to control the agenda anymore and there will be somebody, somewhere, not associated with the normal groups, that will file suit with the federal government.”

Hoping to forestall such lawsuits, the advocacy groups promised that in a few years, same-sex marriage “won’t seem like such a big jump” for courts and legislatures. In the meantime, the groups warned that court losses in marriage cases could reverberate into employment, adoption and custody law for gay people.

Instead of suing, same-sex couples should work against the California anti-gay marriage ballot measure and promote marriage rights in conversations with friends, co-workers, neighbors and employers, the statement said.

“With the victories in Massachusetts and California, we should be able to win marriage more quickly in other states,” the statement said. “But we have to lay the groundwork.”

Official says L.A. County will be ready for gay marriages

The county clerk says ceremonies could begin June 16, the first possible day that the state Supreme Court’s ruling allowing same-sex marriages could take effect.
By Jean-Paul Renaud, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
1:27 PM PDT, May 20, 2008

Acting Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder/County Clerk Dean Logan told county supervisors today that his office would be ready to perform same-sex marriages on June 16.

That is the earliest date on which the state Supreme Court’s overturning of the ban on same-sex marriages could take effect.

Logan said he would extend the corps of volunteers needed to officiate at marriages, and would seek to open new offices to facilitate the ceremonies.

“We expect that when the decision goes into effect, that there will be an initial peak in the volume of people coming into our office,” he said. “We want to be sure we’re prepared for that. We want to make sure we’re staffed up for that.”

Logan said he already has received a request from city officials in West Hollywood to have the county open a marriage-license office there.

“It’s also possible that they may have somebody in their own staff” to perform the ceremonies, Logan said.

Supervisors have also asked Logan to convene an advisory group with gay community leaders to get a better handle on the numbers of couples expected to seek licenses.

The Sheriff’s Department and the Office of Public Safety, which protects county buildings, also have been asked to provide extra security during the first few weeks the marriages are permitted.

Last week, justices struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage in a broadly worded decision that would invalidate virtually any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation.

Officials said it would be at least 30 days from the court’s action before marriage licenses could be issued. But opponents could ask the court to rehear the case. Even if the court declined, such a request could delay the effective date by up to 90 days

Gay marriage gaining ground

California, New York and even Macy’s are accepting it.
May 30, 2008

As the California Supreme Court decision outlawing this state’s ban on same-sex marriage settles in, we are being treated to the unmistakable cracking sounds of long-held, icy bigotries giving way to a wellspring of justice.

In New York, the governor has ordered state agencies to recognize marriages of same-sex couples performed elsewhere. In California, polls show growing acceptance of same-sex marriage, most notably among young people. And, perhaps most telling of all, Macy’s this week took out a full-page ad that solicited the business of same-sex couples planning their nuptials. “First comes love. Then comes marriage,” the ad proclaims beneath an image of two wedding rings. “And now it’s a milestone every couple in California can celebrate.”

And why not? Surely the trailing edges of society will soon reflect on the resistance to this phenomenon with chagrin and more than a little embarrassment. It is bracing, after all, to realize how recently much of this nation blanched at interracial marriage, and thrilling to recognize how quickly most of us buried that prejudice, first in law, then in custom.

To those who fret about lawmaking from the bench, the role of justices in striking down anti-miscegenation laws is instructive. Through the 1950s and 1960s, more than a dozen states repealed their bans on interracial marriage, but by June 1967, 16 states still clung to them. Even at that late date, it took the Supreme Court to enforce justice on behalf of a minority. Within a generation, the only ones left to oppose interracial marriage were the yahoos.

Race is not the only sphere that yields to the inexorable press of justice. The same Supreme Court that opened interracial marriage to all had a year earlier commanded that police inform suspects of their rights. The Miranda case was narrowly decided and furiously condemned. And then, as police began to deliver its warnings, Miranda’s edicts inserted themselves in our culture, whereupon they quickly went from catastrophic to commonplace. Soon, the officers in “Dragnet” were droning Miranda’s commands to hapless television crooks. No less than Justice William H. Rehnquist, who once deplored Miranda, came to accept its place in American life. “Miranda,” he wrote in 2000, “has become embedded in routine police practice to the point where the warnings have become part of our national culture.”

We are at the outset of that same process with respect to same-sex marriage. Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, with his acceptance of the California ruling, is helping that along, and Democratic Gov. David Paterson, with his order to New York agencies, has spread its impact. As other businesses follow the lead of Macy’s and acknowledge that marriage — whatever the sex of the loving adults — is not just good politics but also good commerce, the battle will be over. Equality has a way of winning.

Gigitan cinta digomol pengkid

Oleh Ahmad Shahrul Nizam Muhammad
ahmadshahrul@hmetro.com.my
Mymetro

KUALA LUMPUR: Puluhan ‘gigitan cinta’ membaluti tubuh gebu si isteri membongkar hubungan gelapnya dengan seorang pengkid yang juga rakan sekerja sejak beberapa bulan lalu.

Pengkid ialah golongan gadis yang menganggap diri mereka lelaki dan hanya tertarik kepada perempuan.

Rahsia wanita beranak dua berusia lingkungan 20-an itu diketahui selepas suaminya menjumpai cakera padat video (VCD) yang merakamkan aksi ghairah isterinya dan pengkid terbabit di beberapa tempat di ibu kota, termasuk di rumahnya di sini.

Rakaman itu dipercayai dilakukan sendiri ‘teman lelaki’ isteri terbabit yang dikatakan menghadiahkannya bagi memperingati hubungan intim mereka.

Malah, aksi pasangan haram itu turut memaparkan beberapa gambar mereka meraikan ‘bulan madu’ pertama di sebuah lokasi rahsia, termasuk melakukan hubungan tidak sihat.

Tidak ketinggalan beberapa kata cinta seorang kekasih terhadap pasangannya seperti ‘dapat hidup bersama tersayang’ dan ‘berdoa supaya dapat berdua sehingga ke akhir hayat’ juga memenuhi rakaman dalam VCD berkenaan.

Disebabkan tidak tahan dengan perangai isterinya, lelaki berusia lingkungan 40-an terbabit membuat aduan kepada Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (Jais) supaya mengambil tindakan sewajarnya.

Menurut sumber Jais, lelaki itu mulanya tidak mengesyaki kegiatan isterinya yang sering bekerja di luar kawasan bersama rakan sekerja terbabit.

Bagaimanapun, kegiatan terbabit terbongkar apabila suaminya ternampak puluhan ‘gigitan cinta’ pada tubuh isteri selepas pulang bertugas.

Dia juga tidak menyangka rakan sekerja itu tempat isterinya untuk melepaskan hawa nafsu.

“Walaupun isterinya menafikan melakukan perbuatan tidak bermoral dengan pengkid terbabit yang dikatakan hidup mewah, kesan pada tubuh membuatkan suaminya curiga.

“Kecurigaan itu terjawab apabila VCD yang memaparkan aksi intim dan ghairah pasangan itu dijumpai suaminya yang kemudian terkejut dengan kandungan rakaman terbabit,” katanya.

“Saya difahamkan VCD itu yang disembunyikan adalah hadiah istimewa daripada pasangan pengkidnya,” katanya.

Sumber itu berkata, ada babak dalam rakaman VCD itu dilakukan di rumah wanita itu sendiri selain di rumah pasangannya yang dipercayai menyewa di sekitar Lembah Klang.

Menurutnya, lelaki terbabit yang mendakwa isterinya seorang wanita yang baik percaya dalang sebenar adalah pengkid itu.

Pengkid itu juga didakwa mempengaruhi isterinya supaya menghadiahkan pelbagai barangan berharga, termasuk barang kemas dan kelengkapan kosmetik.

“Lelaki itu juga mendakwa tidak mempunyai krisis yang serius dalam rumah tangganya tetapi terkejut dengan perubahan ketara isterinya.

“Malah, dia mendakwa isterinya masih balik ke rumah walaupun mereka tidak serapat seperti sebelum berkahwin,” katanya.

Sumber itu juga percaya wanita berkenaan sering menceritakan masalah rumah tangganya kepada pengkid terbabit menyebabkan hubungan mereka semakin rapat hingga sanggup melakukan kegiatan tidak bermoral.

Menurutnya, lelaki terbabit membuat aduan kepada Jais bagi membolehkan kegiatan pasangan haram itu ditangani segera berikutan boleh merosakkan rumah tangga dan kehidupan anak pasangan berkenaan.

“Saya difahamkan, kami masih meneliti masalah yang dibangkitkan lelaki itu, termasuk mengambil kira masalah rumah tangga dan sikap pengkid itu,” katanya.


Kaunseling Remaja: Remaja homoseksual ketagih seks

Dr Sapora Sipon

MyMetro

Saya remaja lelaki berumur 19 tahun. Semasa berumur 11 tahun, satu detik hitam berlaku dan peristiwa itu mencorak tingkah laku buruk saya.

Pada usia itu, bapa saudara (adik kepada ayah) mengambil kesempatan mencabul dan meliwat saya.
Saya tidak berani memberitahu keluarga mengenai kejadian itu kerana bapa saudara memberi ugutan. Apabila ada kesempatan, dia akan melakukan perbuatan terkutuk itu.

Pada mulanya saya sangat marah tetap lama kelamaan semakin rasa seronok. Saya kini ketagihan hubungan seks terlarang dan kini menjadi seorang lelaki homoseksual.

Saya sering terbabit dalam aktiviti tidak sihat iaitu sering melakukan hubungan seks dengan kaum sejenis.

Saya tahu itu berdosa dan cuba sedaya upaya meninggalkan aktiviti jijik itu. Malangnya kadangkala saya tidak dapat mengawal nafsu. Apatah lagi saya kini tidak bersekolah dan pergerakan serta pergaulan lebih luas.

Saya sering memohon doa kepada Allah S.W.T supaya dapat menghindari tingkah laku buruk ini, malangnya gagal.

Adik

Terima kasih di atas luahan perasaan dan masalah adik. Nampaknya adik berada dalam konflik kerana mendapati sukar melarikan diri daripada masalah terbabit melakukan hubungan seksual dengan rakan sejenis.

Walaupun adik merasa bersalah dan berdosa melakukannya, tetapi gagal mengawal diri kerana faktor kurang dapat mengawal emosi, nafsu dan perlakuan.

Langkah adik mendapatkan pertolongan adalah satu permulaan yang baik dan menunjukkan adik cuba menjadi insan normal daripada sudut perlakuan tingkah laku seks.

Ia juga berkaitan dengan membebaskan diri daripada melakukan sesuatu yang dilarang agama. Meluahkan perasaan yang dipendam dapat membantu meringankan beban dan tekanan dialami.

Adik menjelaskan bagaimana mula terjebak dengan perkara ini dan saya berpendapat, adik dianiaya oleh orang yang dipercayai. Malangnya “harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi”.

Faktor persekitaran yang terbina melalui pengalaman inilah menyebabkan adik terjebak. Apabila adik merasakan pengalaman homoseksual pertama menyeronokkan, adik meneruskan aktiviti homoseksual secara berterusan.

Pendedahan berleluasa terhadap aktiviti homoseksual membuatkan adik semakin selesa dengan situasi ini.

Ada banyak sebab mengapa seseorang boleh terbabit dalam aktiviti antaranya ialah faktor keluarga. Contohnya, pengalaman atau trauma yang dialami sewaktu alam kanak-kanak.

Seorang anak lelaki yang sering dikasari oleh ibu akan menyebabkan anak beranggapan semua perempuan bersikap kasar, bengis dan panas baran yang memungkinkan akan berasa benci pada kaum perempuan.

Ada pandangan lain yang mengaitkan dengan faktor biologi iaitu perasaan dan nafsu itu terhasil disebabkan oleh bahan kimia dan hormon yang dikeluarkan dalam badan (luar kawalan). Bagaimanapun, pendapat ini masih lagi dibincangkan dan tidak dapat dibuktikan secara menyeluruh.

Faktor dorongan individu pula lahir daripada rentetan proses pembelajaran sewaktu kecil. Ia berlaku kerana kurangnya rasa kepercayaan terhadap ibu dan saudara perempuan (lesbian) dan sebaliknya (gay).

Individu yang kurang percaya pada potensi seksual yang ada pada diri sendiri juga boleh terbabit dalam gejala ini.

Selain itu, keinginan perasaan untuk mendominasi hawa nafsu boleh menyumbang kepada tingkah laku homoseksual. Ada individu apabila harga diri tidak boleh diperoleh dari hubungan lain menyalurkan kepada hubungan kaum sejenisnya.

Keluhan adik adalah pada peringkat pendedahan awal untuk melahirkan ekspresi diri . Sebelum ini mungkin adik berada dalam peringkat tertutup dan kini ingin berkongsi perasaan sebagai seorang gay.

Sebelum membantu mencari jalan penyelesaian membantu adik menangani masalah ini, saya akan kaitkan dengan perspektif masyarakat terhadap individu yang terbabit dengan aktiviti homoseksual ini.

Sering kali punca keruntuhan moral dan tamadun dikaitkan dengan gejala sosial termasuklah kegiatan homoseksual. Aktiviti ini mencacatkan sahsiah budaya dan kesatuan masyarakat.

Kegiatan homosekual sering dikaitkan dengan pembunuh institusi kekeluargaan. Masyarakat akan menjadi tidak sihat dan unsur negatif akan disalurkan dalam institusi kekeluargaan homoseksual. Ini mengurangkan jumlah penduduk dalam masyarakat.

Golongan homoseksual juga sering dipertanggungjawab terhadap gejala kurang sihat dan kepelbagaian masalah kesihatan seperti Aids dan STD. Walaupun jangkitan Aids dan STD disebabkan oleh pelbagai faktor, golongan homoseksual sering dijadikan penyebab utama.

Banyak cara boleh adik gunakan untuk mengurangkan keinginan homoseksual . Antara kaedah yang boleh digunakan ialah kaedah terapi aversi. Terapi ini bagaimanapun dianggap sesetengah orang sebagai kurang beretika kerana ia menyakitkan.

Terapi ini adalah satu bentuk modifikasi tingkah laku yang menggunakan rangsangan yang menyakitkan dalam usaha membantu pesakit mengurangkan tingkah laku yang tidak dikehendaki.

Dalam konteks adik ialah menggunakan terapi ini apabila keinginan untuk melakukan hubungan seks berlaku.

Satu lagi cara yang boleh digunakan ialah melalui penulisan jurnal. Kaedah ini membolehkan adik menulis apa saja mengenai pengalaman dan luahan perasaan dan harapan dalam bentuk penulisan.

Keinginan adik untuk menjauhi aktiviti homoseksual juga boleh ditulis di dalam jurnal ini.

Selain itu, untuk mengelakkan daripada memikirkan keinginan seks, adik lakukanlah kerja berfaedah kepada masyarakat seperti bergotong-royong dan sebagainya.

Intervensi berbentuk keagamaan juga adalah antara kaedah yang sering digunakan. Lakukan ibadat puasa, sekurang-kurangnya dapat mengendurkan nafsu . Lakukan ibadat puasa sunat lengkap dengan syarat, rukun dan adab-adabnya.

Puasa membentuk kita melawan hawa nafsu dengan mengekang diri daripada melakukan perkara yang boleh membatalkan atau mencacatkan puasa pada siang hari.

Puasa juga dari sudut psikologinya membantu dalam mengurangkan kegelisahan dan kesihatan mental. Seorang doktor Muslim bernama Abu Malik dalam bukunya berjudul “Puasa dalam Islam dan Fenomena Psikologis” menjelaskan puasa mempercepat proses pemulihan mental. Saya doakan adik akan berjaya mengatasi masalah homoseksual ini.

Sukar dikesan

Oleh Amir Abd Hamid
amir@hmetro.com.my
Mymetro

KUALA LUMPUR: Lelaki yang menghadapi kecelaruan gender terutama bernafsu kepada remaja atau kanak-kanak sama jantina dengannya amat berbahaya kerana mereka bertindak tanpa perikemanusiaan hanya untuk memenuhi tuntutan hawa nafsu songsang.

Pensyarah psikologi Fakulti Komunikasi dan Pengajian Media Universiti Malaya, Prof Dr Amelia Abd Aziz, berkata daripada sudut psikologi lelaki bernafsu songsang itu terbahagi tiga kategori iaitu biseksual, homoseksual dan phedophilia.

Bagi kategori ketiga katanya, masyarakat tidak akan dapat mengesan bagaimana tindak-tanduk lelaki yang berminat melakukan hubungan seks dengan kanak-kanak atau remaja sama jantina (phedophilia) kerana penjenayah itu bersikap baik dan ada ketikanya seorang yang pendiam.

“Kebanyakan kes membabitkan individu phedophilia ini sukar dikenali dengan mata kasar. Malah, menerusi kajian dibuat di luar negara mendapati ramai profesional turut terbabit.

“Bagi kes guru luar tabii itu, dia menjadikan pelajar di sekolahnya sebagai mangsa memenuhi nafsu seks songsangnya kerana menganggap ramai lelaki muda di situ (sekolahnya) yang mudah dipujuk dengan wang ringgit dan kata manis,” katanya.

Beliau mengulas laporan Harian Metro semalam mengenai seorang guru lelaki sebuah sekolah menengah di Dungun, Terengganu mengupah pelajar lelaki RM30 hingga RM50 untuk melampiaskan nafsu songsangnya.

Bagaimanapun, perbuatan keji guru berusia 37 tahun dari Klang, Selangor, yang menjadikan kuarters guru sebagai tempat memuaskan nafsu, terbongkar selepas keluarga seorang pelajar lelaki yang pernah menjadi mangsa membuat aduan polis, Sabtu lalu.

Sementara itu, Perunding Psikiatri Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (HUKM), Prof Madya Dr Osman Che Bakar, berkata ada beberapa sebab guru terbabit berkelakuan songsang, antaranya ketika kecil dia terlampau rapat dengan bapa atau ibunya terlalu garang.

Menurutnya, sejarah silam seperti itu menyebabkan seseorang itu hilang sifat kelakian yang menjurus kepada tidak yakin untuk dia memikat perempuan.

“Kecelaruan seksual yang dihadapi seseorang individu amat sukar dipulihkan kecuali dia sendiri dengan rela hati dan sedaya upaya mahu mengubah psikologinya menjadi insan yang bermoral,” katanya.

Sementara itu, Timbalan Menteri Pelajaran, Datuk Razali Ismail berkata beliau sudah mengarahkan Jemaah Disiplin dan Nazir Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah (PPD) Dungun menjalankan siasatan sebelum memutuskan apa-apa tindakan.

Katanya, jika guru terbabit terbukti melakukan kesalahan melakukan hubungan seks luar tabii dengan pelajarnya, tindakan paling keras yang boleh diambil ialah memecatnya.

Ini kerana katanya, sebagai tenaga pendidik yang memegang prinsip profesionalisme, guru terbabit sepatutnya menunjukkan teladan yang baik kepada pelajarnya dan bukannya menyalahgunakan tanggungjawab itu.

“Saya terlalu sedih apabila membaca berita yang disiarkan Harian Metro hari ini (semalam), entah di mana guru itu meletakkan nilai mulia seorang pendidik selama ini dipandang tinggi oleh masyarakat.

“Guru itu perlu sedar bahawa dia memegang kerjaya yang secara tidak langsung menjadi ikon kepada pelajar dan masyarakat bukannya ‘monster’ merosakkan masa depan anak didiknya sendiri,” katanya ketika dihubungi, semalam.

Ditanya apa pula bantuan boleh diberikan kementerian kepada pelajar terbabit, Razali berkata remaja itu akan dirujuk kepada kaunselor PPD untuk diberi nasihat secara pendidikan dan akan dirujuk kepada pakar psikiatri jika mendapati keadaan mental pelajar itu parah.

What does gay look like? Science keeps trying to figure that out

In search of "gaydar"

David Furst AFP / Getty Images
With body paint, Israeli men made their sexual orientation easy to see at the Gay Pride Parade on June 6 in Tel Aviv. But what about innate traits that might correlate with homosexuality? Finding and solidifying such links isn’t easy. Studies contradict each other, and some promising paths don’t pan out. But the result could be insight into biological origins of homosexuality.
Finding common biological traits — things like hair growth patterns, penis size, family makeup — might one day shed light on the origins of sexual orientation.
By Regina Nuzzo, Special to The Times
June 16, 2008
Last month, Sen. John McCain dropped by “Saturday Night Live,” drawing laughs from his promise, if elected president, to fight expensive federal projects — such as, he spoofed, a Department of Defense device to “jam gaydar.”

That was a joke. But some scientists are, in a way, working on gaydar, the supposed ability to discern whether a person is homosexual by reading subtle cues from their appearance. Just don’t refer to it that way. The preferred term is “sexual orientation correlates.”

These scientists are searching for innate traits that might not appear to be related to sexual orientation or even to standard clichés. So measuring a subject’s shoe size is permissible; asking about ownership of Barbra Streisand albums would be cheating. Some inborn traits might be expected if homosexuality is — as most scientists believe — rooted in biology, and they might provide clues about the biological origins of sexual orientation.

Finding and solidifying these links isn’t easy. Studies contradict each other, and some promising paths don’t pan out. (A link between male homosexuality and finger lengths isn’t holding up, and a claim that gays have distinctive fingerprint ridge patterns is largely discredited.) Scientists don’t always agree on how to interpret the results, and more progress has been made with regard to men than to women.

* Big brothers. Study after study — including one of 87,000 British men published last year — has found that gay men have more older brothers than straight men do. Only big brothers count. Lesbians don’t show such patterns.

The numbers: Each older brother will increase a man’s chances of being gay by 33%, says Ray Blanchard of the University of Toronto, an expert on the “big-brother effect.” That’s not as dramatic as it might sound. A man’s chance of being gay is pretty low to begin with — perhaps as low as 2% (lowered from 10% by researchers in the early 1990s). So having one older brother ups the chance to only about 2.6%.

What it might mean: Psychological influences are probably not at work, because the pattern holds even for gay men who weren’t raised with their older brothers. Instead, the mother’s womb might be key. After giving birth to a boy, her immune system might create antibodies to foreign, male proteins in her bloodstream. Subsequent sons in the womb could be exposed to these “anti-boy” antibodies, which might affect sexual development in the brain.

Accordingly, you’d expect the percentage of gay men in a society to vary depending on demographic differences in family size: One study calculated that a one-child-per-family law would reduce male homosexuality by about 29% from current levels.

* Left hand vs. right hand. The hand you use to sign your name might have something to do with what gender you are drawn to.

The numbers: More lefties — or at least more somewhat-ambidextrous folks — crop up in the gay population than among straight people, several studies have shown. An analysis of more than 23,000 men and women from North America and Europe in 2000 found that being non-right-handed seems to increase a man’s chances of being gay by about 34%, and a woman’s by about 90%.

What it might mean: One guess is that different-than-normal levels of testosterone in the womb — widely theorized to play a role in determining eventual sexual orientation — could nudge a fetus toward brain organization that favors left-handedness as well as same-sex attraction.

Another theory is that development of a fetus might be disturbed by factors such as a mother’s illness, steering the fetus into being less than strictly right-handed — and, in some cases, less than strictly heterosexual.

It’s a politically sticky idea, says Qazi Rahman of Queen Mary-University of London. “It’s essentially saying that homosexual preference . . . is some kind of biological error,” he says. (It might tick off the left-handed folks too.)

* Hair whorl. How does your hair grow? This might reflect your sexual orientation.

The numbers: A 2004 study of nearly 500 men — 272 on Delaware’s Rehoboth Beach, popular with gay men, 200 on a beach without that reputation — found that hair on the heads of men on the gay beach was 3.5 times more likely to grow in a counterclockwise direction. (Scalp hair typically resembles a clockwise-rotating typhoon.)

What it might mean: One theory is that a single gene might influence hair-whorl direction, left-right brain organization and, somehow, sexual orientation. Exactly how it would do all this, however, is anyone’s guess.

The study, although intriguing, suffers from a lack of scientific rigor. The author walked around while on vacation, collecting hair-whorl observations on men from a discreet distance. He didn’t know anyone’s sexual orientation for sure, and didn’t objectively examine any scalps up close. Rahman’s group is attempting to replicate the results in the lab.

* Penis size. If exposure to testosterone in the womb influences sexual orientation, scientists reckon that straight and gay people would differ in body parts strongly affected by testosterone, such as the penis.

The numbers: Anthony Bogaert of Brock University in Ontario and his colleagues re-analyzed data on 5,000 gay and straight men from sexologist Alfred Kinsey’s famous files, collected from the 1930s to the 1960s. The results, published in 1999, showed that gay men had longer, thicker penises than did straight men: on average, about 6.5 inches long and 4.95 inches around when erect, versus 6.1 inches long and 4.8 inches around for straight men.

What it might mean: Scientists don’t really know. One guess is that gay men could have been exposed to an odd mix of hormones in the womb. Testosterone levels might peak early, causing enhanced penis growth, then drop off later in pregnancy — leading to some feminine characteristics.

There’s one catch: Kinsey asked his subjects to measure themselves at home and mail a postcard recording their dimensions. It is within the realm of imagination that not every man reported the perfect truth. If everyone lied, the essence of the results wouldn’t change. It’s a problem only if gay men were more factually creative than straight men.

Bogaert says that all the measures — length and circumference, erect and flaccid — seem to plausibly line up, which probably wouldn’t be the case if the men had tacked on a vanity half-inch or so. Also, a smaller, 1960s study (in which a physician did the measuring) backs up the findings. As to whether gay or straight men are more likely to exaggerate about penis size, “It would be an interesting master’s thesis project,” Bogaert muses.

However, the next frontier in this kind of research seems to lie elsewhere — with subtle differences in how gay and straight brains navigate new cities, respond to erotic movies and react to the scent of sweat and urine.


From ScienceDaily Read MORE

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Related websites about HOMOSEXUALITY IN MALAYSIA

EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY BUT TOO SHY TO ASK

In gay, kecelaruan jantina, lelaki lembut, lesbian, paedophilia, penkid on June 17, 2008 at 1:18 am

We are bringing to you a synthesis of the latest top stories from the LOS ANGELES

TIMES on the current situation in the USA as far as same sex marriages are

concerned. We have included a Bahasa article (Q&A) written by Dr Sapora Sipon

on male homosexuality (gay). Finally the present state of knowledge put forward

by scientists regarding the aetiology of homosexuality concludes the reports.

The objective of the whole exercise is to educate the masses especially the parents as to the menace of homosexuality amongst the adolescence and the youth. The disintegration of religious and moral values, the influence of the media especially the electronic media, the infiltration of western immoral and liberal culture and the compromising attitude of the authorities are some of the contributing factors to the spread of this social illnes.

Finally as Muslims we have been warned by our Creators as to the dangers and perils awaiting those societies that condone or recognize homosexuality as a norm and permit its practice. May God save us from this evil practice.

GAY MARRIAGE : FROM LOS ANGELES TIMES

Some gays are asking themselves: ‘I do?’


Gay marriage

Couples apply for marriage licenses at the San Francisco city clerk’s office

Associated Press
Jennie Talley, left, and Inga Sarda-Sorensen pose on the terrace of their New York apartment. The New Yorkers, who have been partners for more than 10 years, plan to travel to Southern California in mid-September to get married.
The recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage produces both community euphoria and individual ambivalence.
By Mary Engel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 15 2008

The recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage produces both community euphoria and individual ambivalence. By Mary Engel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer June 15, 2008 In the weeks since the California Supreme Court’s historic ruling legalizing same-sex marriage, gay men and lesbians have hugged, kissed, popped bottles of bubbly and danced in the streets.

Some have also looked themselves in the mirror and asked: “I do?”

Marriage laws by state Lawsuits in defense of gay marriage can backfire, activist groups warn California high court refuses to stay gay marriage ruling Beneath the widespread community euphoria at having the right to marry lies some individual ambivalence about actually doing so.

Yes, there will be a rush of weddings beginning Tuesday, the day most counties will start issuing marriage licenses (a few are to begin Monday night). But there will also be questions, though not always voiced aloud:

Is this the right person? Is this the right time? Is marriage right for me?

“Up until now, we’ve never had to think about those questions,” said the Rev. Neil G. Thomas, senior pastor at Metropolitan Community Church Los Angeles, which was founded to minister to the gay community when many mainline churches wouldn’t.

Gay couples have long held commitment ceremonies, registered as domestic partners or just grown old together in lifelong committed relationships.

But marriage?

“In a sense, it changes nothing,” said Jeffrey Chernin, a family therapist who works with both gay and straight couples.

“But in another sense, it changes everything.”

Some couples welcome the change. Ron Elecciri, 43, who works in television development, and his partner of 11 years, attorney Andy Birnbaum, 38, have been waiting for this ruling since the high court nullified their 2004 San Francisco marriage.

“Both Andy and I did not hesitate to say we’re going to be married again,” Elecciri said. “The only decision we’re not together on is whether we want a big wedding reception or not.”

Other couples face bigger divides. Marcy Israel, a San Luis Obispo wedding photographer, would like to marry her partner of 13 years now that she finally can. But she knows her partner is not as enthusiastic.

“We haven’t had a real in-depth discussion yet, but she questions the whole idea of marriage for anyone,” Israel said.

She said her partner “feels no need of outward reinforcement for what she feels.” Israel, on the other hand, is “more romantic and also more political. I feel that the more gay couples in committed relationships who take this step, the harder it will be to say sorry, you hundred thousand people, but you’re no longer married.”

One West Hollywood professional said that even though he has been with his partner for seven years, and they’re shopping for a house together, “there’s a little ambivalence about marriage.”

“It all came up so suddenly,” said the man, who asked not to be identified because he is reluctant to have intimate details of his personal life “popping up on Google.”

“Straight people enter into dating and courtship with marriage always out there as a possibility throughout the relationship,” he said. “It wasn’t even a possibility for us, and then all of a sudden there’s this looming question: Do we want to get married? It’s this whole new commitment I hadn’t really thought about.”

For gay couples, he said, the decision carries pressure to act quickly, since marriage will no longer be an option if a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage passes in November.

“I think this whole marriage thing is causing more anxiety and fights among gay couples than anything has before,” he said.

Crowd


Reader Q&A on gay marriage

By Rong-Gong Lin II, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 13, 2008

With gay marriage set to begin in California on Monday, The Times is answering readers’ questions on the subject. You can submit questions at ron.lin@latimes.com. Check out full coverage of the debate about the gay marriage issue at latimes.com/gaymarriage. Also available: The Times’ gay marriage page on Facebook. Here is a sampling of questions:

If the November constitutional amendment passes and is upheld, would gay marriages conducted between now and November still have legal standing? –Carlos

It’s unclear. It’s likely that supporters and opponents of same-sex marriage will argue about that in court.

If it did pass, when would it take effect?–Carlos

If it passed, it would likely be challenged in the courts by supporters of same-sex marriage.

What are the tax ramifications?–Carlos

Under the ruling, same-sex married couples, like domestic partners, are allowed to file joint income tax returns for state taxes, but not federal taxes.

How do I change the name on my passport?

Once you change your name with the Social Security Administration, send a completed name change form and certified copy of your marriage certificate to the U.S. Passport Agency.

Could the constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage be challenged in court before the election?

It’s possible. According to The Times’ Maura Dolan, some of the gay rights groups are considering challenging it on the grounds that it revises, rather than amends, the state constitution. An attorney who e-mailed the Times, John H. Scott of Sherman Oaks, wrote that the state constitution cannot be revised by initiative.

What will civil marriage commissioners say when giving the wedding vows?

Here’s the wording recommendation from the County Clerks Assn. of California: “By virtue of the authority vested in me, as a Deputy Commissioner of Marriages for the County of XXX, I now pronounce this couple united in marriage under the laws of the state of California.”

My partner and I had a civil union in Vermont. Can we get married in California now?

Yes. If you are unmarried, you may get married in California.

Where can I apply for a marriage license?

Both would-be spouses must appear in person at a county clerk’s office with photo identification and cash, check, or money order to pay for the license fees and, if desired, a ceremony.

Here’s the process for counties in Southern California:

Los Angeles County: No appointment is needed to apply for a marriage license. Wedding ceremonies at the county clerk’s office in Norwalk are on a first come, first served basis only on Tuesday and June 21; appointments are required at all other times and locations. It costs $70 for the license and $25 for the ceremony. Starting on Monday at 5 p.m., applicants can begin to fill out the application online, but must come into a clerk’s office to receive the license.

Orange County: Appointments are accepted but not required. The license costs $61.50, and the ceremony $28; debit cards are also accepted. Those who start their application online before arriving at the clerk’s office are given priority.

California high court refuses to stay gay

marriage ruling

From the Associated Press
9:44 AM PDT, June 4, 2008

California’s highest court has refused to stay until after the November election its decision legalizing same-sex marriage in the state.

Conservative religious and legal groups had asked the California Supreme Court to stop its order from becoming effective until voters have the chance to weigh in on the issue.

An initiative that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage has qualified for the ballot. Its passage would overrule the court’s decision.

The Supreme Court says its ruling will be final at 5 p.m. on June 16.

Wednesday’s denial clears the way for gays and lesbians in the nation’s most populous state to get married starting June 17, when state officials have said counties must start issuing new gender-neutral marriage licenses

Lawsuits in defense of gay marriage can backfire,

activist groups warn

Legal actions to make the U.S. or other states recognize California unions could lead to ‘bad’ rulings and setbacks in the movement, activists say.
By Maura Dolan, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 11, 2008

SAN FRANCISCO — — With only a few days left before gays can marry in California, nine major gay rights groups asked couples Tuesday not to sue the federal government or other states to have their California nuptials recognized, saying that legal action could harm the marriage equality movement.

In an unusual six-page memorandum, written for same-sex couples, groups ranging from the American Civil Liberties Union to Lambda Legal warned that lawsuits would invite “bad” court rulings that could take years to overturn.

Bad rulings will make it much more difficult for us to win marriage, and will certainly make it take much longer,” the memo said.

Legal experts said the statement appeared to be an effort by groups who have successfully fought for gay marriage in California to maintain control of the litigation and reflected a fear that much of the rest of the country is not yet ready to embrace marriage for gay men and lesbians.

The memo “is a stark recognition of how their efforts have fared in the rest of the country any time the issue has been taken up in the ballot box,” said John Eastman, dean of the Chapman University School of Law. “It is a tactical call that they are not quite ready yet in other states and not even in California to deal with the federal issue.”

Twenty-seven states have passed constitutional amendments banning gay marriage, and only the high courts of California and Massachusetts have approved it. A ballot measure to reinstate California’s marriage ban is headed for the November ballot.

“Eventually the U.S. Supreme Court is going to have to rule on whether states have to recognize same-sex marriages from Massachusetts and California,” said Duke University law professor Erwin Chemerinsky. “What they want is to postpone that as long as possible because attitudes are changing quickly, and the more marriage equality gets entrenched, the more it is going to be widely accepted.”

If the U.S. Supreme Court considered the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which permits states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriage in other states, the current court would likely split 5 to 4, with Justice Anthony M. Kennedy being an unpredictable swing vote, some scholars believe.

Gay rights groups aren’t ready yet to take that risk.

Jon W. Davidson, legal director of Lambda Legal, called the joint statement “unprecedented,” particularly since it came from so many groups.

The memorandum says marriage rights should be tackled first in state courts, and only in states with courts “that may be ready to do the right thing.” Marriage cases are pending before the high courts in Iowa and Connecticut, and gay rights groups are hoping the legislatures of New York and New Jersey will eventually remove bans on gay marriage.

Advocacy groups were largely successful in discouraging lawsuits by couples who wed in Massachusetts and then sought to have their marriages recognized elsewhere. One same-sex couple from Massachusetts filed suit in Florida and lost. Now Florida voters are being asked to amend the state constitution to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples.

Unlike Massachusetts, California has no residency requirements for couples wishing to wed, and tens of thousands of same-sex couples are expected to travel to the state to marry. Experts believe that at least some will return home and bring legal actions.

Asked whether the memo was likely to prevent lawsuits, Davidson said: “I guess we’ll just have to see whether it is successful or not.”

The statement said that “early and unnecessary” court losses over marriage rights in Arizona and Indiana “hurt our other cases.” Courts in New York, Washington state and Maryland narrowly rejected same-sex marriage and adopted some of the “contorted reasoning” from those decisions, the memo said.

“Because so far, more marriage cases have been lost than won, taking on a principled but long-shot case and racking up more losses now just makes it harder to convince other courts and legislatures,” the memo said.

Mathew Staver, found of Liberty Counsel, which opposes same-sex marriage, predicted that once weddings start in California, the groups “won’t be able to control the agenda anymore and there will be somebody, somewhere, not associated with the normal groups, that will file suit with the federal government.”

Hoping to forestall such lawsuits, the advocacy groups promised that in a few years, same-sex marriage “won’t seem like such a big jump” for courts and legislatures. In the meantime, the groups warned that court losses in marriage cases could reverberate into employment, adoption and custody law for gay people.

Instead of suing, same-sex couples should work against the California anti-gay marriage ballot measure and promote marriage rights in conversations with friends, co-workers, neighbors and employers, the statement said.

“With the victories in Massachusetts and California, we should be able to win marriage more quickly in other states,” the statement said. “But we have to lay the groundwork.”

Official says L.A. County will be ready for gay marriages

The county clerk says ceremonies could begin June 16, the first possible day that the state Supreme Court’s ruling allowing same-sex marriages could take effect.
By Jean-Paul Renaud, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
1:27 PM PDT, May 20, 2008

Acting Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder/County Clerk Dean Logan told county supervisors today that his office would be ready to perform same-sex marriages on June 16.

That is the earliest date on which the state Supreme Court’s overturning of the ban on same-sex marriages could take effect.

Logan said he would extend the corps of volunteers needed to officiate at marriages, and would seek to open new offices to facilitate the ceremonies.

“We expect that when the decision goes into effect, that there will be an initial peak in the volume of people coming into our office,” he said. “We want to be sure we’re prepared for that. We want to make sure we’re staffed up for that.”

Logan said he already has received a request from city officials in West Hollywood to have the county open a marriage-license office there.

“It’s also possible that they may have somebody in their own staff” to perform the ceremonies, Logan said.

Supervisors have also asked Logan to convene an advisory group with gay community leaders to get a better handle on the numbers of couples expected to seek licenses.

The Sheriff’s Department and the Office of Public Safety, which protects county buildings, also have been asked to provide extra security during the first few weeks the marriages are permitted.

Last week, justices struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage in a broadly worded decision that would invalidate virtually any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation.

Officials said it would be at least 30 days from the court’s action before marriage licenses could be issued. But opponents could ask the court to rehear the case. Even if the court declined, such a request could delay the effective date by up to 90 days

Gay marriage gaining ground

California, New York and even Macy’s are accepting it.
May 30, 2008

As the California Supreme Court decision outlawing this state’s ban on same-sex marriage settles in, we are being treated to the unmistakable cracking sounds of long-held, icy bigotries giving way to a wellspring of justice.

In New York, the governor has ordered state agencies to recognize marriages of same-sex couples performed elsewhere. In California, polls show growing acceptance of same-sex marriage, most notably among young people. And, perhaps most telling of all, Macy’s this week took out a full-page ad that solicited the business of same-sex couples planning their nuptials. “First comes love. Then comes marriage,” the ad proclaims beneath an image of two wedding rings. “And now it’s a milestone every couple in California can celebrate.”

And why not? Surely the trailing edges of society will soon reflect on the resistance to this phenomenon with chagrin and more than a little embarrassment. It is bracing, after all, to realize how recently much of this nation blanched at interracial marriage, and thrilling to recognize how quickly most of us buried that prejudice, first in law, then in custom.

To those who fret about lawmaking from the bench, the role of justices in striking down anti-miscegenation laws is instructive. Through the 1950s and 1960s, more than a dozen states repealed their bans on interracial marriage, but by June 1967, 16 states still clung to them. Even at that late date, it took the Supreme Court to enforce justice on behalf of a minority. Within a generation, the only ones left to oppose interracial marriage were the yahoos.

Race is not the only sphere that yields to the inexorable press of justice. The same Supreme Court that opened interracial marriage to all had a year earlier commanded that police inform suspects of their rights. The Miranda case was narrowly decided and furiously condemned. And then, as police began to deliver its warnings, Miranda’s edicts inserted themselves in our culture, whereupon they quickly went from catastrophic to commonplace. Soon, the officers in “Dragnet” were droning Miranda’s commands to hapless television crooks. No less than Justice William H. Rehnquist, who once deplored Miranda, came to accept its place in American life. “Miranda,” he wrote in 2000, “has become embedded in routine police practice to the point where the warnings have become part of our national culture.”

We are at the outset of that same process with respect to same-sex marriage. Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, with his acceptance of the California ruling, is helping that along, and Democratic Gov. David Paterson, with his order to New York agencies, has spread its impact. As other businesses follow the lead of Macy’s and acknowledge that marriage — whatever the sex of the loving adults — is not just good politics but also good commerce, the battle will be over. Equality has a way of winning.

Gigitan cinta digomol pengkid

Oleh Ahmad Shahrul Nizam Muhammad
ahmadshahrul@hmetro.com.my
Mymetro

KUALA LUMPUR: Puluhan ‘gigitan cinta’ membaluti tubuh gebu si isteri membongkar hubungan gelapnya dengan seorang pengkid yang juga rakan sekerja sejak beberapa bulan lalu.

Pengkid ialah golongan gadis yang menganggap diri mereka lelaki dan hanya tertarik kepada perempuan.

Rahsia wanita beranak dua berusia lingkungan 20-an itu diketahui selepas suaminya menjumpai cakera padat video (VCD) yang merakamkan aksi ghairah isterinya dan pengkid terbabit di beberapa tempat di ibu kota, termasuk di rumahnya di sini.

Rakaman itu dipercayai dilakukan sendiri ‘teman lelaki’ isteri terbabit yang dikatakan menghadiahkannya bagi memperingati hubungan intim mereka.

Malah, aksi pasangan haram itu turut memaparkan beberapa gambar mereka meraikan ‘bulan madu’ pertama di sebuah lokasi rahsia, termasuk melakukan hubungan tidak sihat.

Tidak ketinggalan beberapa kata cinta seorang kekasih terhadap pasangannya seperti ‘dapat hidup bersama tersayang’ dan ‘berdoa supaya dapat berdua sehingga ke akhir hayat’ juga memenuhi rakaman dalam VCD berkenaan.

Disebabkan tidak tahan dengan perangai isterinya, lelaki berusia lingkungan 40-an terbabit membuat aduan kepada Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (Jais) supaya mengambil tindakan sewajarnya.

Menurut sumber Jais, lelaki itu mulanya tidak mengesyaki kegiatan isterinya yang sering bekerja di luar kawasan bersama rakan sekerja terbabit.

Bagaimanapun, kegiatan terbabit terbongkar apabila suaminya ternampak puluhan ‘gigitan cinta’ pada tubuh isteri selepas pulang bertugas.

Dia juga tidak menyangka rakan sekerja itu tempat isterinya untuk melepaskan hawa nafsu.

“Walaupun isterinya menafikan melakukan perbuatan tidak bermoral dengan pengkid terbabit yang dikatakan hidup mewah, kesan pada tubuh membuatkan suaminya curiga.

“Kecurigaan itu terjawab apabila VCD yang memaparkan aksi intim dan ghairah pasangan itu dijumpai suaminya yang kemudian terkejut dengan kandungan rakaman terbabit,” katanya.

“Saya difahamkan VCD itu yang disembunyikan adalah hadiah istimewa daripada pasangan pengkidnya,” katanya.

Sumber itu berkata, ada babak dalam rakaman VCD itu dilakukan di rumah wanita itu sendiri selain di rumah pasangannya yang dipercayai menyewa di sekitar Lembah Klang.

Menurutnya, lelaki terbabit yang mendakwa isterinya seorang wanita yang baik percaya dalang sebenar adalah pengkid itu.

Pengkid itu juga didakwa mempengaruhi isterinya supaya menghadiahkan pelbagai barangan berharga, termasuk barang kemas dan kelengkapan kosmetik.

“Lelaki itu juga mendakwa tidak mempunyai krisis yang serius dalam rumah tangganya tetapi terkejut dengan perubahan ketara isterinya.

“Malah, dia mendakwa isterinya masih balik ke rumah walaupun mereka tidak serapat seperti sebelum berkahwin,” katanya.

Sumber itu juga percaya wanita berkenaan sering menceritakan masalah rumah tangganya kepada pengkid terbabit menyebabkan hubungan mereka semakin rapat hingga sanggup melakukan kegiatan tidak bermoral.

Menurutnya, lelaki terbabit membuat aduan kepada Jais bagi membolehkan kegiatan pasangan haram itu ditangani segera berikutan boleh merosakkan rumah tangga dan kehidupan anak pasangan berkenaan.

“Saya difahamkan, kami masih meneliti masalah yang dibangkitkan lelaki itu, termasuk mengambil kira masalah rumah tangga dan sikap pengkid itu,” katanya.


Kaunseling Remaja: Remaja homoseksual ketagih seks

Dr Sapora Sipon

MyMetro

Saya remaja lelaki berumur 19 tahun. Semasa berumur 11 tahun, satu detik hitam berlaku dan peristiwa itu mencorak tingkah laku buruk saya.

Pada usia itu, bapa saudara (adik kepada ayah) mengambil kesempatan mencabul dan meliwat saya.
Saya tidak berani memberitahu keluarga mengenai kejadian itu kerana bapa saudara memberi ugutan. Apabila ada kesempatan, dia akan melakukan perbuatan terkutuk itu.

Pada mulanya saya sangat marah tetap lama kelamaan semakin rasa seronok. Saya kini ketagihan hubungan seks terlarang dan kini menjadi seorang lelaki homoseksual.

Saya sering terbabit dalam aktiviti tidak sihat iaitu sering melakukan hubungan seks dengan kaum sejenis.

Saya tahu itu berdosa dan cuba sedaya upaya meninggalkan aktiviti jijik itu. Malangnya kadangkala saya tidak dapat mengawal nafsu. Apatah lagi saya kini tidak bersekolah dan pergerakan serta pergaulan lebih luas.

Saya sering memohon doa kepada Allah S.W.T supaya dapat menghindari tingkah laku buruk ini, malangnya gagal.

Adik

Terima kasih di atas luahan perasaan dan masalah adik. Nampaknya adik berada dalam konflik kerana mendapati sukar melarikan diri daripada masalah terbabit melakukan hubungan seksual dengan rakan sejenis.

Walaupun adik merasa bersalah dan berdosa melakukannya, tetapi gagal mengawal diri kerana faktor kurang dapat mengawal emosi, nafsu dan perlakuan.

Langkah adik mendapatkan pertolongan adalah satu permulaan yang baik dan menunjukkan adik cuba menjadi insan normal daripada sudut perlakuan tingkah laku seks.

Ia juga berkaitan dengan membebaskan diri daripada melakukan sesuatu yang dilarang agama. Meluahkan perasaan yang dipendam dapat membantu meringankan beban dan tekanan dialami.

Adik menjelaskan bagaimana mula terjebak dengan perkara ini dan saya berpendapat, adik dianiaya oleh orang yang dipercayai. Malangnya “harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi”.

Faktor persekitaran yang terbina melalui pengalaman inilah menyebabkan adik terjebak. Apabila adik merasakan pengalaman homoseksual pertama menyeronokkan, adik meneruskan aktiviti homoseksual secara berterusan.

Pendedahan berleluasa terhadap aktiviti homoseksual membuatkan adik semakin selesa dengan situasi ini.

Ada banyak sebab mengapa seseorang boleh terbabit dalam aktiviti antaranya ialah faktor keluarga. Contohnya, pengalaman atau trauma yang dialami sewaktu alam kanak-kanak.

Seorang anak lelaki yang sering dikasari oleh ibu akan menyebabkan anak beranggapan semua perempuan bersikap kasar, bengis dan panas baran yang memungkinkan akan berasa benci pada kaum perempuan.

Ada pandangan lain yang mengaitkan dengan faktor biologi iaitu perasaan dan nafsu itu terhasil disebabkan oleh bahan kimia dan hormon yang dikeluarkan dalam badan (luar kawalan). Bagaimanapun, pendapat ini masih lagi dibincangkan dan tidak dapat dibuktikan secara menyeluruh.

Faktor dorongan individu pula lahir daripada rentetan proses pembelajaran sewaktu kecil. Ia berlaku kerana kurangnya rasa kepercayaan terhadap ibu dan saudara perempuan (lesbian) dan sebaliknya (gay).

Individu yang kurang percaya pada potensi seksual yang ada pada diri sendiri juga boleh terbabit dalam gejala ini.

Selain itu, keinginan perasaan untuk mendominasi hawa nafsu boleh menyumbang kepada tingkah laku homoseksual. Ada individu apabila harga diri tidak boleh diperoleh dari hubungan lain menyalurkan kepada hubungan kaum sejenisnya.

Keluhan adik adalah pada peringkat pendedahan awal untuk melahirkan ekspresi diri . Sebelum ini mungkin adik berada dalam peringkat tertutup dan kini ingin berkongsi perasaan sebagai seorang gay.

Sebelum membantu mencari jalan penyelesaian membantu adik menangani masalah ini, saya akan kaitkan dengan perspektif masyarakat terhadap individu yang terbabit dengan aktiviti homoseksual ini.

Sering kali punca keruntuhan moral dan tamadun dikaitkan dengan gejala sosial termasuklah kegiatan homoseksual. Aktiviti ini mencacatkan sahsiah budaya dan kesatuan masyarakat.

Kegiatan homosekual sering dikaitkan dengan pembunuh institusi kekeluargaan. Masyarakat akan menjadi tidak sihat dan unsur negatif akan disalurkan dalam institusi kekeluargaan homoseksual. Ini mengurangkan jumlah penduduk dalam masyarakat.

Golongan homoseksual juga sering dipertanggungjawab terhadap gejala kurang sihat dan kepelbagaian masalah kesihatan seperti Aids dan STD. Walaupun jangkitan Aids dan STD disebabkan oleh pelbagai faktor, golongan homoseksual sering dijadikan penyebab utama.

Banyak cara boleh adik gunakan untuk mengurangkan keinginan homoseksual . Antara kaedah yang boleh digunakan ialah kaedah terapi aversi. Terapi ini bagaimanapun dianggap sesetengah orang sebagai kurang beretika kerana ia menyakitkan.

Terapi ini adalah satu bentuk modifikasi tingkah laku yang menggunakan rangsangan yang menyakitkan dalam usaha membantu pesakit mengurangkan tingkah laku yang tidak dikehendaki.

Dalam konteks adik ialah menggunakan terapi ini apabila keinginan untuk melakukan hubungan seks berlaku.

Satu lagi cara yang boleh digunakan ialah melalui penulisan jurnal. Kaedah ini membolehkan adik menulis apa saja mengenai pengalaman dan luahan perasaan dan harapan dalam bentuk penulisan.

Keinginan adik untuk menjauhi aktiviti homoseksual juga boleh ditulis di dalam jurnal ini.

Selain itu, untuk mengelakkan daripada memikirkan keinginan seks, adik lakukanlah kerja berfaedah kepada masyarakat seperti bergotong-royong dan sebagainya.

Intervensi berbentuk keagamaan juga adalah antara kaedah yang sering digunakan. Lakukan ibadat puasa, sekurang-kurangnya dapat mengendurkan nafsu . Lakukan ibadat puasa sunat lengkap dengan syarat, rukun dan adab-adabnya.

Puasa membentuk kita melawan hawa nafsu dengan mengekang diri daripada melakukan perkara yang boleh membatalkan atau mencacatkan puasa pada siang hari.

Puasa juga dari sudut psikologinya membantu dalam mengurangkan kegelisahan dan kesihatan mental. Seorang doktor Muslim bernama Abu Malik dalam bukunya berjudul “Puasa dalam Islam dan Fenomena Psikologis” menjelaskan puasa mempercepat proses pemulihan mental. Saya doakan adik akan berjaya mengatasi masalah homoseksual ini.

Sukar dikesan

Oleh Amir Abd Hamid
amir@hmetro.com.my
Mymetro

KUALA LUMPUR: Lelaki yang menghadapi kecelaruan gender terutama bernafsu kepada remaja atau kanak-kanak sama jantina dengannya amat berbahaya kerana mereka bertindak tanpa perikemanusiaan hanya untuk memenuhi tuntutan hawa nafsu songsang.

Pensyarah psikologi Fakulti Komunikasi dan Pengajian Media Universiti Malaya, Prof Dr Amelia Abd Aziz, berkata daripada sudut psikologi lelaki bernafsu songsang itu terbahagi tiga kategori iaitu biseksual, homoseksual dan phedophilia.

Bagi kategori ketiga katanya, masyarakat tidak akan dapat mengesan bagaimana tindak-tanduk lelaki yang berminat melakukan hubungan seks dengan kanak-kanak atau remaja sama jantina (phedophilia) kerana penjenayah itu bersikap baik dan ada ketikanya seorang yang pendiam.

“Kebanyakan kes membabitkan individu phedophilia ini sukar dikenali dengan mata kasar. Malah, menerusi kajian dibuat di luar negara mendapati ramai profesional turut terbabit.

“Bagi kes guru luar tabii itu, dia menjadikan pelajar di sekolahnya sebagai mangsa memenuhi nafsu seks songsangnya kerana menganggap ramai lelaki muda di situ (sekolahnya) yang mudah dipujuk dengan wang ringgit dan kata manis,” katanya.

Beliau mengulas laporan Harian Metro semalam mengenai seorang guru lelaki sebuah sekolah menengah di Dungun, Terengganu mengupah pelajar lelaki RM30 hingga RM50 untuk melampiaskan nafsu songsangnya.

Bagaimanapun, perbuatan keji guru berusia 37 tahun dari Klang, Selangor, yang menjadikan kuarters guru sebagai tempat memuaskan nafsu, terbongkar selepas keluarga seorang pelajar lelaki yang pernah menjadi mangsa membuat aduan polis, Sabtu lalu.

Sementara itu, Perunding Psikiatri Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (HUKM), Prof Madya Dr Osman Che Bakar, berkata ada beberapa sebab guru terbabit berkelakuan songsang, antaranya ketika kecil dia terlampau rapat dengan bapa atau ibunya terlalu garang.

Menurutnya, sejarah silam seperti itu menyebabkan seseorang itu hilang sifat kelakian yang menjurus kepada tidak yakin untuk dia memikat perempuan.

“Kecelaruan seksual yang dihadapi seseorang individu amat sukar dipulihkan kecuali dia sendiri dengan rela hati dan sedaya upaya mahu mengubah psikologinya menjadi insan yang bermoral,” katanya.

Sementara itu, Timbalan Menteri Pelajaran, Datuk Razali Ismail berkata beliau sudah mengarahkan Jemaah Disiplin dan Nazir Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah (PPD) Dungun menjalankan siasatan sebelum memutuskan apa-apa tindakan.

Katanya, jika guru terbabit terbukti melakukan kesalahan melakukan hubungan seks luar tabii dengan pelajarnya, tindakan paling keras yang boleh diambil ialah memecatnya.

Ini kerana katanya, sebagai tenaga pendidik yang memegang prinsip profesionalisme, guru terbabit sepatutnya menunjukkan teladan yang baik kepada pelajarnya dan bukannya menyalahgunakan tanggungjawab itu.

“Saya terlalu sedih apabila membaca berita yang disiarkan Harian Metro hari ini (semalam), entah di mana guru itu meletakkan nilai mulia seorang pendidik selama ini dipandang tinggi oleh masyarakat.

“Guru itu perlu sedar bahawa dia memegang kerjaya yang secara tidak langsung menjadi ikon kepada pelajar dan masyarakat bukannya ‘monster’ merosakkan masa depan anak didiknya sendiri,” katanya ketika dihubungi, semalam.

Ditanya apa pula bantuan boleh diberikan kementerian kepada pelajar terbabit, Razali berkata remaja itu akan dirujuk kepada kaunselor PPD untuk diberi nasihat secara pendidikan dan akan dirujuk kepada pakar psikiatri jika mendapati keadaan mental pelajar itu parah.

What does gay look like? Science keeps trying to figure that out

In search of "gaydar"

David Furst AFP / Getty Images
With body paint, Israeli men made their sexual orientation easy to see at the Gay Pride Parade on June 6 in Tel Aviv. But what about innate traits that might correlate with homosexuality? Finding and solidifying such links isn’t easy. Studies contradict each other, and some promising paths don’t pan out. But the result could be insight into biological origins of homosexuality.
Finding common biological traits — things like hair growth patterns, penis size, family makeup — might one day shed light on the origins of sexual orientation.
By Regina Nuzzo, Special to The Times
June 16, 2008
Last month, Sen. John McCain dropped by “Saturday Night Live,” drawing laughs from his promise, if elected president, to fight expensive federal projects — such as, he spoofed, a Department of Defense device to “jam gaydar.”

That was a joke. But some scientists are, in a way, working on gaydar, the supposed ability to discern whether a person is homosexual by reading subtle cues from their appearance. Just don’t refer to it that way. The preferred term is “sexual orientation correlates.”

These scientists are searching for innate traits that might not appear to be related to sexual orientation or even to standard clichés. So measuring a subject’s shoe size is permissible; asking about ownership of Barbra Streisand albums would be cheating. Some inborn traits might be expected if homosexuality is — as most scientists believe — rooted in biology, and they might provide clues about the biological origins of sexual orientation.

Finding and solidifying these links isn’t easy. Studies contradict each other, and some promising paths don’t pan out. (A link between male homosexuality and finger lengths isn’t holding up, and a claim that gays have distinctive fingerprint ridge patterns is largely discredited.) Scientists don’t always agree on how to interpret the results, and more progress has been made with regard to men than to women.

* Big brothers. Study after study — including one of 87,000 British men published last year — has found that gay men have more older brothers than straight men do. Only big brothers count. Lesbians don’t show such patterns.

The numbers: Each older brother will increase a man’s chances of being gay by 33%, says Ray Blanchard of the University of Toronto, an expert on the “big-brother effect.” That’s not as dramatic as it might sound. A man’s chance of being gay is pretty low to begin with — perhaps as low as 2% (lowered from 10% by researchers in the early 1990s). So having one older brother ups the chance to only about 2.6%.

What it might mean: Psychological influences are probably not at work, because the pattern holds even for gay men who weren’t raised with their older brothers. Instead, the mother’s womb might be key. After giving birth to a boy, her immune system might create antibodies to foreign, male proteins in her bloodstream. Subsequent sons in the womb could be exposed to these “anti-boy” antibodies, which might affect sexual development in the brain.

Accordingly, you’d expect the percentage of gay men in a society to vary depending on demographic differences in family size: One study calculated that a one-child-per-family law would reduce male homosexuality by about 29% from current levels.

* Left hand vs. right hand. The hand you use to sign your name might have something to do with what gender you are drawn to.

The numbers: More lefties — or at least more somewhat-ambidextrous folks — crop up in the gay population than among straight people, several studies have shown. An analysis of more than 23,000 men and women from North America and Europe in 2000 found that being non-right-handed seems to increase a man’s chances of being gay by about 34%, and a woman’s by about 90%.

What it might mean: One guess is that different-than-normal levels of testosterone in the womb — widely theorized to play a role in determining eventual sexual orientation — could nudge a fetus toward brain organization that favors left-handedness as well as same-sex attraction.

Another theory is that development of a fetus might be disturbed by factors such as a mother’s illness, steering the fetus into being less than strictly right-handed — and, in some cases, less than strictly heterosexual.

It’s a politically sticky idea, says Qazi Rahman of Queen Mary-University of London. “It’s essentially saying that homosexual preference . . . is some kind of biological error,” he says. (It might tick off the left-handed folks too.)

* Hair whorl. How does your hair grow? This might reflect your sexual orientation.

The numbers: A 2004 study of nearly 500 men — 272 on Delaware’s Rehoboth Beach, popular with gay men, 200 on a beach without that reputation — found that hair on the heads of men on the gay beach was 3.5 times more likely to grow in a counterclockwise direction. (Scalp hair typically resembles a clockwise-rotating typhoon.)

What it might mean: One theory is that a single gene might influence hair-whorl direction, left-right brain organization and, somehow, sexual orientation. Exactly how it would do all this, however, is anyone’s guess.

The study, although intriguing, suffers from a lack of scientific rigor. The author walked around while on vacation, collecting hair-whorl observations on men from a discreet distance. He didn’t know anyone’s sexual orientation for sure, and didn’t objectively examine any scalps up close. Rahman’s group is attempting to replicate the results in the lab.

* Penis size. If exposure to testosterone in the womb influences sexual orientation, scientists reckon that straight and gay people would differ in body parts strongly affected by testosterone, such as the penis.

The numbers: Anthony Bogaert of Brock University in Ontario and his colleagues re-analyzed data on 5,000 gay and straight men from sexologist Alfred Kinsey’s famous files, collected from the 1930s to the 1960s. The results, published in 1999, showed that gay men had longer, thicker penises than did straight men: on average, about 6.5 inches long and 4.95 inches around when erect, versus 6.1 inches long and 4.8 inches around for straight men.

What it might mean: Scientists don’t really know. One guess is that gay men could have been exposed to an odd mix of hormones in the womb. Testosterone levels might peak early, causing enhanced penis growth, then drop off later in pregnancy — leading to some feminine characteristics.

There’s one catch: Kinsey asked his subjects to measure themselves at home and mail a postcard recording their dimensions. It is within the realm of imagination that not every man reported the perfect truth. If everyone lied, the essence of the results wouldn’t change. It’s a problem only if gay men were more factually creative than straight men.

Bogaert says that all the measures — length and circumference, erect and flaccid — seem to plausibly line up, which probably wouldn’t be the case if the men had tacked on a vanity half-inch or so. Also, a smaller, 1960s study (in which a physician did the measuring) backs up the findings. As to whether gay or straight men are more likely to exaggerate about penis size, “It would be an interesting master’s thesis project,” Bogaert muses.

However, the next frontier in this kind of research seems to lie elsewhere — with subtle differences in how gay and straight brains navigate new cities, respond to erotic movies and react to the scent of sweat and urine.


From ScienceDaily Read MORE

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Related websites about HOMOSEXUALITY IN MALAYSIA

EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY BUT TOO SHY TO ASK

In gay, kecelaruan jantina, lelaki lembut, lesbian, paedophilia, penkid on June 17, 2008 at 1:18 am

We are bringing to you a synthesis of the latest top stories from the LOS ANGELES

TIMES on the current situation in the USA as far as same sex marriages are

concerned. We have included a Bahasa article (Q&A) written by Dr Sapora Sipon

on male homosexuality (gay). Finally the present state of knowledge put forward

by scientists regarding the aetiology of homosexuality concludes the reports.

The objective of the whole exercise is to educate the masses especially the parents as to the menace of homosexuality amongst the adolescence and the youth. The disintegration of religious and moral values, the influence of the media especially the electronic media, the infiltration of western immoral and liberal culture and the compromising attitude of the authorities are some of the contributing factors to the spread of this social illnes.

Finally as Muslims we have been warned by our Creators as to the dangers and perils awaiting those societies that condone or recognize homosexuality as a norm and permit its practice. May God save us from this evil practice.

GAY MARRIAGE : FROM LOS ANGELES TIMES

Some gays are asking themselves: ‘I do?’


Gay marriage

Couples apply for marriage licenses at the San Francisco city clerk’s office

Associated Press
Jennie Talley, left, and Inga Sarda-Sorensen pose on the terrace of their New York apartment. The New Yorkers, who have been partners for more than 10 years, plan to travel to Southern California in mid-September to get married.
The recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage produces both community euphoria and individual ambivalence.
By Mary Engel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 15 2008

The recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage produces both community euphoria and individual ambivalence. By Mary Engel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer June 15, 2008 In the weeks since the California Supreme Court’s historic ruling legalizing same-sex marriage, gay men and lesbians have hugged, kissed, popped bottles of bubbly and danced in the streets.

Some have also looked themselves in the mirror and asked: “I do?”

Marriage laws by state Lawsuits in defense of gay marriage can backfire, activist groups warn California high court refuses to stay gay marriage ruling Beneath the widespread community euphoria at having the right to marry lies some individual ambivalence about actually doing so.

Yes, there will be a rush of weddings beginning Tuesday, the day most counties will start issuing marriage licenses (a few are to begin Monday night). But there will also be questions, though not always voiced aloud:

Is this the right person? Is this the right time? Is marriage right for me?

“Up until now, we’ve never had to think about those questions,” said the Rev. Neil G. Thomas, senior pastor at Metropolitan Community Church Los Angeles, which was founded to minister to the gay community when many mainline churches wouldn’t.

Gay couples have long held commitment ceremonies, registered as domestic partners or just grown old together in lifelong committed relationships.

But marriage?

“In a sense, it changes nothing,” said Jeffrey Chernin, a family therapist who works with both gay and straight couples.

“But in another sense, it changes everything.”

Some couples welcome the change. Ron Elecciri, 43, who works in television development, and his partner of 11 years, attorney Andy Birnbaum, 38, have been waiting for this ruling since the high court nullified their 2004 San Francisco marriage.

“Both Andy and I did not hesitate to say we’re going to be married again,” Elecciri said. “The only decision we’re not together on is whether we want a big wedding reception or not.”

Other couples face bigger divides. Marcy Israel, a San Luis Obispo wedding photographer, would like to marry her partner of 13 years now that she finally can. But she knows her partner is not as enthusiastic.

“We haven’t had a real in-depth discussion yet, but she questions the whole idea of marriage for anyone,” Israel said.

She said her partner “feels no need of outward reinforcement for what she feels.” Israel, on the other hand, is “more romantic and also more political. I feel that the more gay couples in committed relationships who take this step, the harder it will be to say sorry, you hundred thousand people, but you’re no longer married.”

One West Hollywood professional said that even though he has been with his partner for seven years, and they’re shopping for a house together, “there’s a little ambivalence about marriage.”

“It all came up so suddenly,” said the man, who asked not to be identified because he is reluctant to have intimate details of his personal life “popping up on Google.”

“Straight people enter into dating and courtship with marriage always out there as a possibility throughout the relationship,” he said. “It wasn’t even a possibility for us, and then all of a sudden there’s this looming question: Do we want to get married? It’s this whole new commitment I hadn’t really thought about.”

For gay couples, he said, the decision carries pressure to act quickly, since marriage will no longer be an option if a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage passes in November.

“I think this whole marriage thing is causing more anxiety and fights among gay couples than anything has before,” he said.

Crowd


Reader Q&A on gay marriage

By Rong-Gong Lin II, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 13, 2008

With gay marriage set to begin in California on Monday, The Times is answering readers’ questions on the subject. You can submit questions at ron.lin@latimes.com. Check out full coverage of the debate about the gay marriage issue at latimes.com/gaymarriage. Also available: The Times’ gay marriage page on Facebook. Here is a sampling of questions:

If the November constitutional amendment passes and is upheld, would gay marriages conducted between now and November still have legal standing? –Carlos

It’s unclear. It’s likely that supporters and opponents of same-sex marriage will argue about that in court.

If it did pass, when would it take effect?–Carlos

If it passed, it would likely be challenged in the courts by supporters of same-sex marriage.

What are the tax ramifications?–Carlos

Under the ruling, same-sex married couples, like domestic partners, are allowed to file joint income tax returns for state taxes, but not federal taxes.

How do I change the name on my passport?

Once you change your name with the Social Security Administration, send a completed name change form and certified copy of your marriage certificate to the U.S. Passport Agency.

Could the constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage be challenged in court before the election?

It’s possible. According to The Times’ Maura Dolan, some of the gay rights groups are considering challenging it on the grounds that it revises, rather than amends, the state constitution. An attorney who e-mailed the Times, John H. Scott of Sherman Oaks, wrote that the state constitution cannot be revised by initiative.

What will civil marriage commissioners say when giving the wedding vows?

Here’s the wording recommendation from the County Clerks Assn. of California: “By virtue of the authority vested in me, as a Deputy Commissioner of Marriages for the County of XXX, I now pronounce this couple united in marriage under the laws of the state of California.”

My partner and I had a civil union in Vermont. Can we get married in California now?

Yes. If you are unmarried, you may get married in California.

Where can I apply for a marriage license?

Both would-be spouses must appear in person at a county clerk’s office with photo identification and cash, check, or money order to pay for the license fees and, if desired, a ceremony.

Here’s the process for counties in Southern California:

Los Angeles County: No appointment is needed to apply for a marriage license. Wedding ceremonies at the county clerk’s office in Norwalk are on a first come, first served basis only on Tuesday and June 21; appointments are required at all other times and locations. It costs $70 for the license and $25 for the ceremony. Starting on Monday at 5 p.m., applicants can begin to fill out the application online, but must come into a clerk’s office to receive the license.

Orange County: Appointments are accepted but not required. The license costs $61.50, and the ceremony $28; debit cards are also accepted. Those who start their application online before arriving at the clerk’s office are given priority.

California high court refuses to stay gay

marriage ruling

From the Associated Press
9:44 AM PDT, June 4, 2008

California’s highest court has refused to stay until after the November election its decision legalizing same-sex marriage in the state.

Conservative religious and legal groups had asked the California Supreme Court to stop its order from becoming effective until voters have the chance to weigh in on the issue.

An initiative that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage has qualified for the ballot. Its passage would overrule the court’s decision.

The Supreme Court says its ruling will be final at 5 p.m. on June 16.

Wednesday’s denial clears the way for gays and lesbians in the nation’s most populous state to get married starting June 17, when state officials have said counties must start issuing new gender-neutral marriage licenses

Lawsuits in defense of gay marriage can backfire,

activist groups warn

Legal actions to make the U.S. or other states recognize California unions could lead to ‘bad’ rulings and setbacks in the movement, activists say.
By Maura Dolan, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 11, 2008

SAN FRANCISCO — — With only a few days left before gays can marry in California, nine major gay rights groups asked couples Tuesday not to sue the federal government or other states to have their California nuptials recognized, saying that legal action could harm the marriage equality movement.

In an unusual six-page memorandum, written for same-sex couples, groups ranging from the American Civil Liberties Union to Lambda Legal warned that lawsuits would invite “bad” court rulings that could take years to overturn.

Bad rulings will make it much more difficult for us to win marriage, and will certainly make it take much longer,” the memo said.

Legal experts said the statement appeared to be an effort by groups who have successfully fought for gay marriage in California to maintain control of the litigation and reflected a fear that much of the rest of the country is not yet ready to embrace marriage for gay men and lesbians.

The memo “is a stark recognition of how their efforts have fared in the rest of the country any time the issue has been taken up in the ballot box,” said John Eastman, dean of the Chapman University School of Law. “It is a tactical call that they are not quite ready yet in other states and not even in California to deal with the federal issue.”

Twenty-seven states have passed constitutional amendments banning gay marriage, and only the high courts of California and Massachusetts have approved it. A ballot measure to reinstate California’s marriage ban is headed for the November ballot.

“Eventually the U.S. Supreme Court is going to have to rule on whether states have to recognize same-sex marriages from Massachusetts and California,” said Duke University law professor Erwin Chemerinsky. “What they want is to postpone that as long as possible because attitudes are changing quickly, and the more marriage equality gets entrenched, the more it is going to be widely accepted.”

If the U.S. Supreme Court considered the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which permits states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriage in other states, the current court would likely split 5 to 4, with Justice Anthony M. Kennedy being an unpredictable swing vote, some scholars believe.

Gay rights groups aren’t ready yet to take that risk.

Jon W. Davidson, legal director of Lambda Legal, called the joint statement “unprecedented,” particularly since it came from so many groups.

The memorandum says marriage rights should be tackled first in state courts, and only in states with courts “that may be ready to do the right thing.” Marriage cases are pending before the high courts in Iowa and Connecticut, and gay rights groups are hoping the legislatures of New York and New Jersey will eventually remove bans on gay marriage.

Advocacy groups were largely successful in discouraging lawsuits by couples who wed in Massachusetts and then sought to have their marriages recognized elsewhere. One same-sex couple from Massachusetts filed suit in Florida and lost. Now Florida voters are being asked to amend the state constitution to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples.

Unlike Massachusetts, California has no residency requirements for couples wishing to wed, and tens of thousands of same-sex couples are expected to travel to the state to marry. Experts believe that at least some will return home and bring legal actions.

Asked whether the memo was likely to prevent lawsuits, Davidson said: “I guess we’ll just have to see whether it is successful or not.”

The statement said that “early and unnecessary” court losses over marriage rights in Arizona and Indiana “hurt our other cases.” Courts in New York, Washington state and Maryland narrowly rejected same-sex marriage and adopted some of the “contorted reasoning” from those decisions, the memo said.

“Because so far, more marriage cases have been lost than won, taking on a principled but long-shot case and racking up more losses now just makes it harder to convince other courts and legislatures,” the memo said.

Mathew Staver, found of Liberty Counsel, which opposes same-sex marriage, predicted that once weddings start in California, the groups “won’t be able to control the agenda anymore and there will be somebody, somewhere, not associated with the normal groups, that will file suit with the federal government.”

Hoping to forestall such lawsuits, the advocacy groups promised that in a few years, same-sex marriage “won’t seem like such a big jump” for courts and legislatures. In the meantime, the groups warned that court losses in marriage cases could reverberate into employment, adoption and custody law for gay people.

Instead of suing, same-sex couples should work against the California anti-gay marriage ballot measure and promote marriage rights in conversations with friends, co-workers, neighbors and employers, the statement said.

“With the victories in Massachusetts and California, we should be able to win marriage more quickly in other states,” the statement said. “But we have to lay the groundwork.”

Official says L.A. County will be ready for gay marriages

The county clerk says ceremonies could begin June 16, the first possible day that the state Supreme Court’s ruling allowing same-sex marriages could take effect.
By Jean-Paul Renaud, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
1:27 PM PDT, May 20, 2008

Acting Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder/County Clerk Dean Logan told county supervisors today that his office would be ready to perform same-sex marriages on June 16.

That is the earliest date on which the state Supreme Court’s overturning of the ban on same-sex marriages could take effect.

Logan said he would extend the corps of volunteers needed to officiate at marriages, and would seek to open new offices to facilitate the ceremonies.

“We expect that when the decision goes into effect, that there will be an initial peak in the volume of people coming into our office,” he said. “We want to be sure we’re prepared for that. We want to make sure we’re staffed up for that.”

Logan said he already has received a request from city officials in West Hollywood to have the county open a marriage-license office there.

“It’s also possible that they may have somebody in their own staff” to perform the ceremonies, Logan said.

Supervisors have also asked Logan to convene an advisory group with gay community leaders to get a better handle on the numbers of couples expected to seek licenses.

The Sheriff’s Department and the Office of Public Safety, which protects county buildings, also have been asked to provide extra security during the first few weeks the marriages are permitted.

Last week, justices struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage in a broadly worded decision that would invalidate virtually any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation.

Officials said it would be at least 30 days from the court’s action before marriage licenses could be issued. But opponents could ask the court to rehear the case. Even if the court declined, such a request could delay the effective date by up to 90 days

Gay marriage gaining ground

California, New York and even Macy’s are accepting it.
May 30, 2008

As the California Supreme Court decision outlawing this state’s ban on same-sex marriage settles in, we are being treated to the unmistakable cracking sounds of long-held, icy bigotries giving way to a wellspring of justice.

In New York, the governor has ordered state agencies to recognize marriages of same-sex couples performed elsewhere. In California, polls show growing acceptance of same-sex marriage, most notably among young people. And, perhaps most telling of all, Macy’s this week took out a full-page ad that solicited the business of same-sex couples planning their nuptials. “First comes love. Then comes marriage,” the ad proclaims beneath an image of two wedding rings. “And now it’s a milestone every couple in California can celebrate.”

And why not? Surely the trailing edges of society will soon reflect on the resistance to this phenomenon with chagrin and more than a little embarrassment. It is bracing, after all, to realize how recently much of this nation blanched at interracial marriage, and thrilling to recognize how quickly most of us buried that prejudice, first in law, then in custom.

To those who fret about lawmaking from the bench, the role of justices in striking down anti-miscegenation laws is instructive. Through the 1950s and 1960s, more than a dozen states repealed their bans on interracial marriage, but by June 1967, 16 states still clung to them. Even at that late date, it took the Supreme Court to enforce justice on behalf of a minority. Within a generation, the only ones left to oppose interracial marriage were the yahoos.

Race is not the only sphere that yields to the inexorable press of justice. The same Supreme Court that opened interracial marriage to all had a year earlier commanded that police inform suspects of their rights. The Miranda case was narrowly decided and furiously condemned. And then, as police began to deliver its warnings, Miranda’s edicts inserted themselves in our culture, whereupon they quickly went from catastrophic to commonplace. Soon, the officers in “Dragnet” were droning Miranda’s commands to hapless television crooks. No less than Justice William H. Rehnquist, who once deplored Miranda, came to accept its place in American life. “Miranda,” he wrote in 2000, “has become embedded in routine police practice to the point where the warnings have become part of our national culture.”

We are at the outset of that same process with respect to same-sex marriage. Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, with his acceptance of the California ruling, is helping that along, and Democratic Gov. David Paterson, with his order to New York agencies, has spread its impact. As other businesses follow the lead of Macy’s and acknowledge that marriage — whatever the sex of the loving adults — is not just good politics but also good commerce, the battle will be over. Equality has a way of winning.

Gigitan cinta digomol pengkid

Oleh Ahmad Shahrul Nizam Muhammad
ahmadshahrul@hmetro.com.my
Mymetro

KUALA LUMPUR: Puluhan ‘gigitan cinta’ membaluti tubuh gebu si isteri membongkar hubungan gelapnya dengan seorang pengkid yang juga rakan sekerja sejak beberapa bulan lalu.

Pengkid ialah golongan gadis yang menganggap diri mereka lelaki dan hanya tertarik kepada perempuan.

Rahsia wanita beranak dua berusia lingkungan 20-an itu diketahui selepas suaminya menjumpai cakera padat video (VCD) yang merakamkan aksi ghairah isterinya dan pengkid terbabit di beberapa tempat di ibu kota, termasuk di rumahnya di sini.

Rakaman itu dipercayai dilakukan sendiri ‘teman lelaki’ isteri terbabit yang dikatakan menghadiahkannya bagi memperingati hubungan intim mereka.

Malah, aksi pasangan haram itu turut memaparkan beberapa gambar mereka meraikan ‘bulan madu’ pertama di sebuah lokasi rahsia, termasuk melakukan hubungan tidak sihat.

Tidak ketinggalan beberapa kata cinta seorang kekasih terhadap pasangannya seperti ‘dapat hidup bersama tersayang’ dan ‘berdoa supaya dapat berdua sehingga ke akhir hayat’ juga memenuhi rakaman dalam VCD berkenaan.

Disebabkan tidak tahan dengan perangai isterinya, lelaki berusia lingkungan 40-an terbabit membuat aduan kepada Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (Jais) supaya mengambil tindakan sewajarnya.

Menurut sumber Jais, lelaki itu mulanya tidak mengesyaki kegiatan isterinya yang sering bekerja di luar kawasan bersama rakan sekerja terbabit.

Bagaimanapun, kegiatan terbabit terbongkar apabila suaminya ternampak puluhan ‘gigitan cinta’ pada tubuh isteri selepas pulang bertugas.

Dia juga tidak menyangka rakan sekerja itu tempat isterinya untuk melepaskan hawa nafsu.

“Walaupun isterinya menafikan melakukan perbuatan tidak bermoral dengan pengkid terbabit yang dikatakan hidup mewah, kesan pada tubuh membuatkan suaminya curiga.

“Kecurigaan itu terjawab apabila VCD yang memaparkan aksi intim dan ghairah pasangan itu dijumpai suaminya yang kemudian terkejut dengan kandungan rakaman terbabit,” katanya.

“Saya difahamkan VCD itu yang disembunyikan adalah hadiah istimewa daripada pasangan pengkidnya,” katanya.

Sumber itu berkata, ada babak dalam rakaman VCD itu dilakukan di rumah wanita itu sendiri selain di rumah pasangannya yang dipercayai menyewa di sekitar Lembah Klang.

Menurutnya, lelaki terbabit yang mendakwa isterinya seorang wanita yang baik percaya dalang sebenar adalah pengkid itu.

Pengkid itu juga didakwa mempengaruhi isterinya supaya menghadiahkan pelbagai barangan berharga, termasuk barang kemas dan kelengkapan kosmetik.

“Lelaki itu juga mendakwa tidak mempunyai krisis yang serius dalam rumah tangganya tetapi terkejut dengan perubahan ketara isterinya.

“Malah, dia mendakwa isterinya masih balik ke rumah walaupun mereka tidak serapat seperti sebelum berkahwin,” katanya.

Sumber itu juga percaya wanita berkenaan sering menceritakan masalah rumah tangganya kepada pengkid terbabit menyebabkan hubungan mereka semakin rapat hingga sanggup melakukan kegiatan tidak bermoral.

Menurutnya, lelaki terbabit membuat aduan kepada Jais bagi membolehkan kegiatan pasangan haram itu ditangani segera berikutan boleh merosakkan rumah tangga dan kehidupan anak pasangan berkenaan.

“Saya difahamkan, kami masih meneliti masalah yang dibangkitkan lelaki itu, termasuk mengambil kira masalah rumah tangga dan sikap pengkid itu,” katanya.


Kaunseling Remaja: Remaja homoseksual ketagih seks

Dr Sapora Sipon

MyMetro

Saya remaja lelaki berumur 19 tahun. Semasa berumur 11 tahun, satu detik hitam berlaku dan peristiwa itu mencorak tingkah laku buruk saya.

Pada usia itu, bapa saudara (adik kepada ayah) mengambil kesempatan mencabul dan meliwat saya.
Saya tidak berani memberitahu keluarga mengenai kejadian itu kerana bapa saudara memberi ugutan. Apabila ada kesempatan, dia akan melakukan perbuatan terkutuk itu.

Pada mulanya saya sangat marah tetap lama kelamaan semakin rasa seronok. Saya kini ketagihan hubungan seks terlarang dan kini menjadi seorang lelaki homoseksual.

Saya sering terbabit dalam aktiviti tidak sihat iaitu sering melakukan hubungan seks dengan kaum sejenis.

Saya tahu itu berdosa dan cuba sedaya upaya meninggalkan aktiviti jijik itu. Malangnya kadangkala saya tidak dapat mengawal nafsu. Apatah lagi saya kini tidak bersekolah dan pergerakan serta pergaulan lebih luas.

Saya sering memohon doa kepada Allah S.W.T supaya dapat menghindari tingkah laku buruk ini, malangnya gagal.

Adik

Terima kasih di atas luahan perasaan dan masalah adik. Nampaknya adik berada dalam konflik kerana mendapati sukar melarikan diri daripada masalah terbabit melakukan hubungan seksual dengan rakan sejenis.

Walaupun adik merasa bersalah dan berdosa melakukannya, tetapi gagal mengawal diri kerana faktor kurang dapat mengawal emosi, nafsu dan perlakuan.

Langkah adik mendapatkan pertolongan adalah satu permulaan yang baik dan menunjukkan adik cuba menjadi insan normal daripada sudut perlakuan tingkah laku seks.

Ia juga berkaitan dengan membebaskan diri daripada melakukan sesuatu yang dilarang agama. Meluahkan perasaan yang dipendam dapat membantu meringankan beban dan tekanan dialami.

Adik menjelaskan bagaimana mula terjebak dengan perkara ini dan saya berpendapat, adik dianiaya oleh orang yang dipercayai. Malangnya “harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi”.

Faktor persekitaran yang terbina melalui pengalaman inilah menyebabkan adik terjebak. Apabila adik merasakan pengalaman homoseksual pertama menyeronokkan, adik meneruskan aktiviti homoseksual secara berterusan.

Pendedahan berleluasa terhadap aktiviti homoseksual membuatkan adik semakin selesa dengan situasi ini.

Ada banyak sebab mengapa seseorang boleh terbabit dalam aktiviti antaranya ialah faktor keluarga. Contohnya, pengalaman atau trauma yang dialami sewaktu alam kanak-kanak.

Seorang anak lelaki yang sering dikasari oleh ibu akan menyebabkan anak beranggapan semua perempuan bersikap kasar, bengis dan panas baran yang memungkinkan akan berasa benci pada kaum perempuan.

Ada pandangan lain yang mengaitkan dengan faktor biologi iaitu perasaan dan nafsu itu terhasil disebabkan oleh bahan kimia dan hormon yang dikeluarkan dalam badan (luar kawalan). Bagaimanapun, pendapat ini masih lagi dibincangkan dan tidak dapat dibuktikan secara menyeluruh.

Faktor dorongan individu pula lahir daripada rentetan proses pembelajaran sewaktu kecil. Ia berlaku kerana kurangnya rasa kepercayaan terhadap ibu dan saudara perempuan (lesbian) dan sebaliknya (gay).

Individu yang kurang percaya pada potensi seksual yang ada pada diri sendiri juga boleh terbabit dalam gejala ini.

Selain itu, keinginan perasaan untuk mendominasi hawa nafsu boleh menyumbang kepada tingkah laku homoseksual. Ada individu apabila harga diri tidak boleh diperoleh dari hubungan lain menyalurkan kepada hubungan kaum sejenisnya.

Keluhan adik adalah pada peringkat pendedahan awal untuk melahirkan ekspresi diri . Sebelum ini mungkin adik berada dalam peringkat tertutup dan kini ingin berkongsi perasaan sebagai seorang gay.

Sebelum membantu mencari jalan penyelesaian membantu adik menangani masalah ini, saya akan kaitkan dengan perspektif masyarakat terhadap individu yang terbabit dengan aktiviti homoseksual ini.

Sering kali punca keruntuhan moral dan tamadun dikaitkan dengan gejala sosial termasuklah kegiatan homoseksual. Aktiviti ini mencacatkan sahsiah budaya dan kesatuan masyarakat.

Kegiatan homosekual sering dikaitkan dengan pembunuh institusi kekeluargaan. Masyarakat akan menjadi tidak sihat dan unsur negatif akan disalurkan dalam institusi kekeluargaan homoseksual. Ini mengurangkan jumlah penduduk dalam masyarakat.

Golongan homoseksual juga sering dipertanggungjawab terhadap gejala kurang sihat dan kepelbagaian masalah kesihatan seperti Aids dan STD. Walaupun jangkitan Aids dan STD disebabkan oleh pelbagai faktor, golongan homoseksual sering dijadikan penyebab utama.

Banyak cara boleh adik gunakan untuk mengurangkan keinginan homoseksual . Antara kaedah yang boleh digunakan ialah kaedah terapi aversi. Terapi ini bagaimanapun dianggap sesetengah orang sebagai kurang beretika kerana ia menyakitkan.

Terapi ini adalah satu bentuk modifikasi tingkah laku yang menggunakan rangsangan yang menyakitkan dalam usaha membantu pesakit mengurangkan tingkah laku yang tidak dikehendaki.

Dalam konteks adik ialah menggunakan terapi ini apabila keinginan untuk melakukan hubungan seks berlaku.

Satu lagi cara yang boleh digunakan ialah melalui penulisan jurnal. Kaedah ini membolehkan adik menulis apa saja mengenai pengalaman dan luahan perasaan dan harapan dalam bentuk penulisan.

Keinginan adik untuk menjauhi aktiviti homoseksual juga boleh ditulis di dalam jurnal ini.

Selain itu, untuk mengelakkan daripada memikirkan keinginan seks, adik lakukanlah kerja berfaedah kepada masyarakat seperti bergotong-royong dan sebagainya.

Intervensi berbentuk keagamaan juga adalah antara kaedah yang sering digunakan. Lakukan ibadat puasa, sekurang-kurangnya dapat mengendurkan nafsu . Lakukan ibadat puasa sunat lengkap dengan syarat, rukun dan adab-adabnya.

Puasa membentuk kita melawan hawa nafsu dengan mengekang diri daripada melakukan perkara yang boleh membatalkan atau mencacatkan puasa pada siang hari.

Puasa juga dari sudut psikologinya membantu dalam mengurangkan kegelisahan dan kesihatan mental. Seorang doktor Muslim bernama Abu Malik dalam bukunya berjudul “Puasa dalam Islam dan Fenomena Psikologis” menjelaskan puasa mempercepat proses pemulihan mental. Saya doakan adik akan berjaya mengatasi masalah homoseksual ini.

Sukar dikesan

Oleh Amir Abd Hamid
amir@hmetro.com.my
Mymetro

KUALA LUMPUR: Lelaki yang menghadapi kecelaruan gender terutama bernafsu kepada remaja atau kanak-kanak sama jantina dengannya amat berbahaya kerana mereka bertindak tanpa perikemanusiaan hanya untuk memenuhi tuntutan hawa nafsu songsang.

Pensyarah psikologi Fakulti Komunikasi dan Pengajian Media Universiti Malaya, Prof Dr Amelia Abd Aziz, berkata daripada sudut psikologi lelaki bernafsu songsang itu terbahagi tiga kategori iaitu biseksual, homoseksual dan phedophilia.

Bagi kategori ketiga katanya, masyarakat tidak akan dapat mengesan bagaimana tindak-tanduk lelaki yang berminat melakukan hubungan seks dengan kanak-kanak atau remaja sama jantina (phedophilia) kerana penjenayah itu bersikap baik dan ada ketikanya seorang yang pendiam.

“Kebanyakan kes membabitkan individu phedophilia ini sukar dikenali dengan mata kasar. Malah, menerusi kajian dibuat di luar negara mendapati ramai profesional turut terbabit.

“Bagi kes guru luar tabii itu, dia menjadikan pelajar di sekolahnya sebagai mangsa memenuhi nafsu seks songsangnya kerana menganggap ramai lelaki muda di situ (sekolahnya) yang mudah dipujuk dengan wang ringgit dan kata manis,” katanya.

Beliau mengulas laporan Harian Metro semalam mengenai seorang guru lelaki sebuah sekolah menengah di Dungun, Terengganu mengupah pelajar lelaki RM30 hingga RM50 untuk melampiaskan nafsu songsangnya.

Bagaimanapun, perbuatan keji guru berusia 37 tahun dari Klang, Selangor, yang menjadikan kuarters guru sebagai tempat memuaskan nafsu, terbongkar selepas keluarga seorang pelajar lelaki yang pernah menjadi mangsa membuat aduan polis, Sabtu lalu.

Sementara itu, Perunding Psikiatri Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (HUKM), Prof Madya Dr Osman Che Bakar, berkata ada beberapa sebab guru terbabit berkelakuan songsang, antaranya ketika kecil dia terlampau rapat dengan bapa atau ibunya terlalu garang.

Menurutnya, sejarah silam seperti itu menyebabkan seseorang itu hilang sifat kelakian yang menjurus kepada tidak yakin untuk dia memikat perempuan.

“Kecelaruan seksual yang dihadapi seseorang individu amat sukar dipulihkan kecuali dia sendiri dengan rela hati dan sedaya upaya mahu mengubah psikologinya menjadi insan yang bermoral,” katanya.

Sementara itu, Timbalan Menteri Pelajaran, Datuk Razali Ismail berkata beliau sudah mengarahkan Jemaah Disiplin dan Nazir Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah (PPD) Dungun menjalankan siasatan sebelum memutuskan apa-apa tindakan.

Katanya, jika guru terbabit terbukti melakukan kesalahan melakukan hubungan seks luar tabii dengan pelajarnya, tindakan paling keras yang boleh diambil ialah memecatnya.

Ini kerana katanya, sebagai tenaga pendidik yang memegang prinsip profesionalisme, guru terbabit sepatutnya menunjukkan teladan yang baik kepada pelajarnya dan bukannya menyalahgunakan tanggungjawab itu.

“Saya terlalu sedih apabila membaca berita yang disiarkan Harian Metro hari ini (semalam), entah di mana guru itu meletakkan nilai mulia seorang pendidik selama ini dipandang tinggi oleh masyarakat.

“Guru itu perlu sedar bahawa dia memegang kerjaya yang secara tidak langsung menjadi ikon kepada pelajar dan masyarakat bukannya ‘monster’ merosakkan masa depan anak didiknya sendiri,” katanya ketika dihubungi, semalam.

Ditanya apa pula bantuan boleh diberikan kementerian kepada pelajar terbabit, Razali berkata remaja itu akan dirujuk kepada kaunselor PPD untuk diberi nasihat secara pendidikan dan akan dirujuk kepada pakar psikiatri jika mendapati keadaan mental pelajar itu parah.

What does gay look like? Science keeps trying to figure that out

In search of "gaydar"

David Furst AFP / Getty Images
With body paint, Israeli men made their sexual orientation easy to see at the Gay Pride Parade on June 6 in Tel Aviv. But what about innate traits that might correlate with homosexuality? Finding and solidifying such links isn’t easy. Studies contradict each other, and some promising paths don’t pan out. But the result could be insight into biological origins of homosexuality.
Finding common biological traits — things like hair growth patterns, penis size, family makeup — might one day shed light on the origins of sexual orientation.
By Regina Nuzzo, Special to The Times
June 16, 2008
Last month, Sen. John McCain dropped by “Saturday Night Live,” drawing laughs from his promise, if elected president, to fight expensive federal projects — such as, he spoofed, a Department of Defense device to “jam gaydar.”

That was a joke. But some scientists are, in a way, working on gaydar, the supposed ability to discern whether a person is homosexual by reading subtle cues from their appearance. Just don’t refer to it that way. The preferred term is “sexual orientation correlates.”

These scientists are searching for innate traits that might not appear to be related to sexual orientation or even to standard clichés. So measuring a subject’s shoe size is permissible; asking about ownership of Barbra Streisand albums would be cheating. Some inborn traits might be expected if homosexuality is — as most scientists believe — rooted in biology, and they might provide clues about the biological origins of sexual orientation.

Finding and solidifying these links isn’t easy. Studies contradict each other, and some promising paths don’t pan out. (A link between male homosexuality and finger lengths isn’t holding up, and a claim that gays have distinctive fingerprint ridge patterns is largely discredited.) Scientists don’t always agree on how to interpret the results, and more progress has been made with regard to men than to women.

* Big brothers. Study after study — including one of 87,000 British men published last year — has found that gay men have more older brothers than straight men do. Only big brothers count. Lesbians don’t show such patterns.

The numbers: Each older brother will increase a man’s chances of being gay by 33%, says Ray Blanchard of the University of Toronto, an expert on the “big-brother effect.” That’s not as dramatic as it might sound. A man’s chance of being gay is pretty low to begin with — perhaps as low as 2% (lowered from 10% by researchers in the early 1990s). So having one older brother ups the chance to only about 2.6%.

What it might mean: Psychological influences are probably not at work, because the pattern holds even for gay men who weren’t raised with their older brothers. Instead, the mother’s womb might be key. After giving birth to a boy, her immune system might create antibodies to foreign, male proteins in her bloodstream. Subsequent sons in the womb could be exposed to these “anti-boy” antibodies, which might affect sexual development in the brain.

Accordingly, you’d expect the percentage of gay men in a society to vary depending on demographic differences in family size: One study calculated that a one-child-per-family law would reduce male homosexuality by about 29% from current levels.

* Left hand vs. right hand. The hand you use to sign your name might have something to do with what gender you are drawn to.

The numbers: More lefties — or at least more somewhat-ambidextrous folks — crop up in the gay population than among straight people, several studies have shown. An analysis of more than 23,000 men and women from North America and Europe in 2000 found that being non-right-handed seems to increase a man’s chances of being gay by about 34%, and a woman’s by about 90%.

What it might mean: One guess is that different-than-normal levels of testosterone in the womb — widely theorized to play a role in determining eventual sexual orientation — could nudge a fetus toward brain organization that favors left-handedness as well as same-sex attraction.

Another theory is that development of a fetus might be disturbed by factors such as a mother’s illness, steering the fetus into being less than strictly right-handed — and, in some cases, less than strictly heterosexual.

It’s a politically sticky idea, says Qazi Rahman of Queen Mary-University of London. “It’s essentially saying that homosexual preference . . . is some kind of biological error,” he says. (It might tick off the left-handed folks too.)

* Hair whorl. How does your hair grow? This might reflect your sexual orientation.

The numbers: A 2004 study of nearly 500 men — 272 on Delaware’s Rehoboth Beach, popular with gay men, 200 on a beach without that reputation — found that hair on the heads of men on the gay beach was 3.5 times more likely to grow in a counterclockwise direction. (Scalp hair typically resembles a clockwise-rotating typhoon.)

What it might mean: One theory is that a single gene might influence hair-whorl direction, left-right brain organization and, somehow, sexual orientation. Exactly how it would do all this, however, is anyone’s guess.

The study, although intriguing, suffers from a lack of scientific rigor. The author walked around while on vacation, collecting hair-whorl observations on men from a discreet distance. He didn’t know anyone’s sexual orientation for sure, and didn’t objectively examine any scalps up close. Rahman’s group is attempting to replicate the results in the lab.

* Penis size. If exposure to testosterone in the womb influences sexual orientation, scientists reckon that straight and gay people would differ in body parts strongly affected by testosterone, such as the penis.

The numbers: Anthony Bogaert of Brock University in Ontario and his colleagues re-analyzed data on 5,000 gay and straight men from sexologist Alfred Kinsey’s famous files, collected from the 1930s to the 1960s. The results, published in 1999, showed that gay men had longer, thicker penises than did straight men: on average, about 6.5 inches long and 4.95 inches around when erect, versus 6.1 inches long and 4.8 inches around for straight men.

What it might mean: Scientists don’t really know. One guess is that gay men could have been exposed to an odd mix of hormones in the womb. Testosterone levels might peak early, causing enhanced penis growth, then drop off later in pregnancy — leading to some feminine characteristics.

There’s one catch: Kinsey asked his subjects to measure themselves at home and mail a postcard recording their dimensions. It is within the realm of imagination that not every man reported the perfect truth. If everyone lied, the essence of the results wouldn’t change. It’s a problem only if gay men were more factually creative than straight men.

Bogaert says that all the measures — length and circumference, erect and flaccid — seem to plausibly line up, which probably wouldn’t be the case if the men had tacked on a vanity half-inch or so. Also, a smaller, 1960s study (in which a physician did the measuring) backs up the findings. As to whether gay or straight men are more likely to exaggerate about penis size, “It would be an interesting master’s thesis project,” Bogaert muses.

However, the next frontier in this kind of research seems to lie elsewhere — with subtle differences in how gay and straight brains navigate new cities, respond to erotic movies and react to the scent of sweat and urine.


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Related websites about HOMOSEXUALITY IN MALAYSIA

EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY BUT TOO SHY TO ASK

In gay, kecelaruan jantina, lelaki lembut, lesbian, paedophilia, penkid on June 17, 2008 at 1:18 am

We are bringing to you a synthesis of the latest top stories from the LOS ANGELES

TIMES on the current situation in the USA as far as same sex marriages are

concerned. We have included a Bahasa article (Q&A) written by Dr Sapora Sipon

on male homosexuality (gay). Finally the present state of knowledge put forward

by scientists regarding the aetiology of homosexuality concludes the reports.

The objective of the whole exercise is to educate the masses especially the parents as to the menace of homosexuality amongst the adolescence and the youth. The disintegration of religious and moral values, the influence of the media especially the electronic media, the infiltration of western immoral and liberal culture and the compromising attitude of the authorities are some of the contributing factors to the spread of this social illnes.

Finally as Muslims we have been warned by our Creators as to the dangers and perils awaiting those societies that condone or recognize homosexuality as a norm and permit its practice. May God save us from this evil practice.

GAY MARRIAGE : FROM LOS ANGELES TIMES

Some gays are asking themselves: ‘I do?’


Gay marriage

Couples apply for marriage licenses at the San Francisco city clerk’s office

Associated Press
Jennie Talley, left, and Inga Sarda-Sorensen pose on the terrace of their New York apartment. The New Yorkers, who have been partners for more than 10 years, plan to travel to Southern California in mid-September to get married.
The recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage produces both community euphoria and individual ambivalence.
By Mary Engel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 15 2008

The recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage produces both community euphoria and individual ambivalence. By Mary Engel, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer June 15, 2008 In the weeks since the California Supreme Court’s historic ruling legalizing same-sex marriage, gay men and lesbians have hugged, kissed, popped bottles of bubbly and danced in the streets.

Some have also looked themselves in the mirror and asked: “I do?”

Marriage laws by state Lawsuits in defense of gay marriage can backfire, activist groups warn California high court refuses to stay gay marriage ruling Beneath the widespread community euphoria at having the right to marry lies some individual ambivalence about actually doing so.

Yes, there will be a rush of weddings beginning Tuesday, the day most counties will start issuing marriage licenses (a few are to begin Monday night). But there will also be questions, though not always voiced aloud:

Is this the right person? Is this the right time? Is marriage right for me?

“Up until now, we’ve never had to think about those questions,” said the Rev. Neil G. Thomas, senior pastor at Metropolitan Community Church Los Angeles, which was founded to minister to the gay community when many mainline churches wouldn’t.

Gay couples have long held commitment ceremonies, registered as domestic partners or just grown old together in lifelong committed relationships.

But marriage?

“In a sense, it changes nothing,” said Jeffrey Chernin, a family therapist who works with both gay and straight couples.

“But in another sense, it changes everything.”

Some couples welcome the change. Ron Elecciri, 43, who works in television development, and his partner of 11 years, attorney Andy Birnbaum, 38, have been waiting for this ruling since the high court nullified their 2004 San Francisco marriage.

“Both Andy and I did not hesitate to say we’re going to be married again,” Elecciri said. “The only decision we’re not together on is whether we want a big wedding reception or not.”

Other couples face bigger divides. Marcy Israel, a San Luis Obispo wedding photographer, would like to marry her partner of 13 years now that she finally can. But she knows her partner is not as enthusiastic.

“We haven’t had a real in-depth discussion yet, but she questions the whole idea of marriage for anyone,” Israel said.

She said her partner “feels no need of outward reinforcement for what she feels.” Israel, on the other hand, is “more romantic and also more political. I feel that the more gay couples in committed relationships who take this step, the harder it will be to say sorry, you hundred thousand people, but you’re no longer married.”

One West Hollywood professional said that even though he has been with his partner for seven years, and they’re shopping for a house together, “there’s a little ambivalence about marriage.”

“It all came up so suddenly,” said the man, who asked not to be identified because he is reluctant to have intimate details of his personal life “popping up on Google.”

“Straight people enter into dating and courtship with marriage always out there as a possibility throughout the relationship,” he said. “It wasn’t even a possibility for us, and then all of a sudden there’s this looming question: Do we want to get married? It’s this whole new commitment I hadn’t really thought about.”

For gay couples, he said, the decision carries pressure to act quickly, since marriage will no longer be an option if a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage passes in November.

“I think this whole marriage thing is causing more anxiety and fights among gay couples than anything has before,” he said.

Crowd


Reader Q&A on gay marriage

By Rong-Gong Lin II, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 13, 2008

With gay marriage set to begin in California on Monday, The Times is answering readers’ questions on the subject. You can submit questions at ron.lin@latimes.com. Check out full coverage of the debate about the gay marriage issue at latimes.com/gaymarriage. Also available: The Times’ gay marriage page on Facebook. Here is a sampling of questions:

If the November constitutional amendment passes and is upheld, would gay marriages conducted between now and November still have legal standing? –Carlos

It’s unclear. It’s likely that supporters and opponents of same-sex marriage will argue about that in court.

If it did pass, when would it take effect?–Carlos

If it passed, it would likely be challenged in the courts by supporters of same-sex marriage.

What are the tax ramifications?–Carlos

Under the ruling, same-sex married couples, like domestic partners, are allowed to file joint income tax returns for state taxes, but not federal taxes.

How do I change the name on my passport?

Once you change your name with the Social Security Administration, send a completed name change form and certified copy of your marriage certificate to the U.S. Passport Agency.

Could the constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage be challenged in court before the election?

It’s possible. According to The Times’ Maura Dolan, some of the gay rights groups are considering challenging it on the grounds that it revises, rather than amends, the state constitution. An attorney who e-mailed the Times, John H. Scott of Sherman Oaks, wrote that the state constitution cannot be revised by initiative.

What will civil marriage commissioners say when giving the wedding vows?

Here’s the wording recommendation from the County Clerks Assn. of California: “By virtue of the authority vested in me, as a Deputy Commissioner of Marriages for the County of XXX, I now pronounce this couple united in marriage under the laws of the state of California.”

My partner and I had a civil union in Vermont. Can we get married in California now?

Yes. If you are unmarried, you may get married in California.

Where can I apply for a marriage license?

Both would-be spouses must appear in person at a county clerk’s office with photo identification and cash, check, or money order to pay for the license fees and, if desired, a ceremony.

Here’s the process for counties in Southern California:

Los Angeles County: No appointment is needed to apply for a marriage license. Wedding ceremonies at the county clerk’s office in Norwalk are on a first come, first served basis only on Tuesday and June 21; appointments are required at all other times and locations. It costs $70 for the license and $25 for the ceremony. Starting on Monday at 5 p.m., applicants can begin to fill out the application online, but must come into a clerk’s office to receive the license.

Orange County: Appointments are accepted but not required. The license costs $61.50, and the ceremony $28; debit cards are also accepted. Those who start their application online before arriving at the clerk’s office are given priority.

California high court refuses to stay gay

marriage ruling

From the Associated Press
9:44 AM PDT, June 4, 2008

California’s highest court has refused to stay until after the November election its decision legalizing same-sex marriage in the state.

Conservative religious and legal groups had asked the California Supreme Court to stop its order from becoming effective until voters have the chance to weigh in on the issue.

An initiative that would amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage has qualified for the ballot. Its passage would overrule the court’s decision.

The Supreme Court says its ruling will be final at 5 p.m. on June 16.

Wednesday’s denial clears the way for gays and lesbians in the nation’s most populous state to get married starting June 17, when state officials have said counties must start issuing new gender-neutral marriage licenses

Lawsuits in defense of gay marriage can backfire,

activist groups warn

Legal actions to make the U.S. or other states recognize California unions could lead to ‘bad’ rulings and setbacks in the movement, activists say.
By Maura Dolan, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 11, 2008

SAN FRANCISCO — — With only a few days left before gays can marry in California, nine major gay rights groups asked couples Tuesday not to sue the federal government or other states to have their California nuptials recognized, saying that legal action could harm the marriage equality movement.

In an unusual six-page memorandum, written for same-sex couples, groups ranging from the American Civil Liberties Union to Lambda Legal warned that lawsuits would invite “bad” court rulings that could take years to overturn.

Bad rulings will make it much more difficult for us to win marriage, and will certainly make it take much longer,” the memo said.

Legal experts said the statement appeared to be an effort by groups who have successfully fought for gay marriage in California to maintain control of the litigation and reflected a fear that much of the rest of the country is not yet ready to embrace marriage for gay men and lesbians.

The memo “is a stark recognition of how their efforts have fared in the rest of the country any time the issue has been taken up in the ballot box,” said John Eastman, dean of the Chapman University School of Law. “It is a tactical call that they are not quite ready yet in other states and not even in California to deal with the federal issue.”

Twenty-seven states have passed constitutional amendments banning gay marriage, and only the high courts of California and Massachusetts have approved it. A ballot measure to reinstate California’s marriage ban is headed for the November ballot.

“Eventually the U.S. Supreme Court is going to have to rule on whether states have to recognize same-sex marriages from Massachusetts and California,” said Duke University law professor Erwin Chemerinsky. “What they want is to postpone that as long as possible because attitudes are changing quickly, and the more marriage equality gets entrenched, the more it is going to be widely accepted.”

If the U.S. Supreme Court considered the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which permits states to refuse to recognize same-sex marriage in other states, the current court would likely split 5 to 4, with Justice Anthony M. Kennedy being an unpredictable swing vote, some scholars believe.

Gay rights groups aren’t ready yet to take that risk.

Jon W. Davidson, legal director of Lambda Legal, called the joint statement “unprecedented,” particularly since it came from so many groups.

The memorandum says marriage rights should be tackled first in state courts, and only in states with courts “that may be ready to do the right thing.” Marriage cases are pending before the high courts in Iowa and Connecticut, and gay rights groups are hoping the legislatures of New York and New Jersey will eventually remove bans on gay marriage.

Advocacy groups were largely successful in discouraging lawsuits by couples who wed in Massachusetts and then sought to have their marriages recognized elsewhere. One same-sex couple from Massachusetts filed suit in Florida and lost. Now Florida voters are being asked to amend the state constitution to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples.

Unlike Massachusetts, California has no residency requirements for couples wishing to wed, and tens of thousands of same-sex couples are expected to travel to the state to marry. Experts believe that at least some will return home and bring legal actions.

Asked whether the memo was likely to prevent lawsuits, Davidson said: “I guess we’ll just have to see whether it is successful or not.”

The statement said that “early and unnecessary” court losses over marriage rights in Arizona and Indiana “hurt our other cases.” Courts in New York, Washington state and Maryland narrowly rejected same-sex marriage and adopted some of the “contorted reasoning” from those decisions, the memo said.

“Because so far, more marriage cases have been lost than won, taking on a principled but long-shot case and racking up more losses now just makes it harder to convince other courts and legislatures,” the memo said.

Mathew Staver, found of Liberty Counsel, which opposes same-sex marriage, predicted that once weddings start in California, the groups “won’t be able to control the agenda anymore and there will be somebody, somewhere, not associated with the normal groups, that will file suit with the federal government.”

Hoping to forestall such lawsuits, the advocacy groups promised that in a few years, same-sex marriage “won’t seem like such a big jump” for courts and legislatures. In the meantime, the groups warned that court losses in marriage cases could reverberate into employment, adoption and custody law for gay people.

Instead of suing, same-sex couples should work against the California anti-gay marriage ballot measure and promote marriage rights in conversations with friends, co-workers, neighbors and employers, the statement said.

“With the victories in Massachusetts and California, we should be able to win marriage more quickly in other states,” the statement said. “But we have to lay the groundwork.”

Official says L.A. County will be ready for gay marriages

The county clerk says ceremonies could begin June 16, the first possible day that the state Supreme Court’s ruling allowing same-sex marriages could take effect.
By Jean-Paul Renaud, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
1:27 PM PDT, May 20, 2008

Acting Los Angeles County Registrar-Recorder/County Clerk Dean Logan told county supervisors today that his office would be ready to perform same-sex marriages on June 16.

That is the earliest date on which the state Supreme Court’s overturning of the ban on same-sex marriages could take effect.

Logan said he would extend the corps of volunteers needed to officiate at marriages, and would seek to open new offices to facilitate the ceremonies.

“We expect that when the decision goes into effect, that there will be an initial peak in the volume of people coming into our office,” he said. “We want to be sure we’re prepared for that. We want to make sure we’re staffed up for that.”

Logan said he already has received a request from city officials in West Hollywood to have the county open a marriage-license office there.

“It’s also possible that they may have somebody in their own staff” to perform the ceremonies, Logan said.

Supervisors have also asked Logan to convene an advisory group with gay community leaders to get a better handle on the numbers of couples expected to seek licenses.

The Sheriff’s Department and the Office of Public Safety, which protects county buildings, also have been asked to provide extra security during the first few weeks the marriages are permitted.

Last week, justices struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage in a broadly worded decision that would invalidate virtually any law that discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation.

Officials said it would be at least 30 days from the court’s action before marriage licenses could be issued. But opponents could ask the court to rehear the case. Even if the court declined, such a request could delay the effective date by up to 90 days

Gay marriage gaining ground

California, New York and even Macy’s are accepting it.
May 30, 2008

As the California Supreme Court decision outlawing this state’s ban on same-sex marriage settles in, we are being treated to the unmistakable cracking sounds of long-held, icy bigotries giving way to a wellspring of justice.

In New York, the governor has ordered state agencies to recognize marriages of same-sex couples performed elsewhere. In California, polls show growing acceptance of same-sex marriage, most notably among young people. And, perhaps most telling of all, Macy’s this week took out a full-page ad that solicited the business of same-sex couples planning their nuptials. “First comes love. Then comes marriage,” the ad proclaims beneath an image of two wedding rings. “And now it’s a milestone every couple in California can celebrate.”

And why not? Surely the trailing edges of society will soon reflect on the resistance to this phenomenon with chagrin and more than a little embarrassment. It is bracing, after all, to realize how recently much of this nation blanched at interracial marriage, and thrilling to recognize how quickly most of us buried that prejudice, first in law, then in custom.

To those who fret about lawmaking from the bench, the role of justices in striking down anti-miscegenation laws is instructive. Through the 1950s and 1960s, more than a dozen states repealed their bans on interracial marriage, but by June 1967, 16 states still clung to them. Even at that late date, it took the Supreme Court to enforce justice on behalf of a minority. Within a generation, the only ones left to oppose interracial marriage were the yahoos.

Race is not the only sphere that yields to the inexorable press of justice. The same Supreme Court that opened interracial marriage to all had a year earlier commanded that police inform suspects of their rights. The Miranda case was narrowly decided and furiously condemned. And then, as police began to deliver its warnings, Miranda’s edicts inserted themselves in our culture, whereupon they quickly went from catastrophic to commonplace. Soon, the officers in “Dragnet” were droning Miranda’s commands to hapless television crooks. No less than Justice William H. Rehnquist, who once deplored Miranda, came to accept its place in American life. “Miranda,” he wrote in 2000, “has become embedded in routine police practice to the point where the warnings have become part of our national culture.”

We are at the outset of that same process with respect to same-sex marriage. Republican Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, with his acceptance of the California ruling, is helping that along, and Democratic Gov. David Paterson, with his order to New York agencies, has spread its impact. As other businesses follow the lead of Macy’s and acknowledge that marriage — whatever the sex of the loving adults — is not just good politics but also good commerce, the battle will be over. Equality has a way of winning.

Gigitan cinta digomol pengkid

Oleh Ahmad Shahrul Nizam Muhammad
ahmadshahrul@hmetro.com.my
Mymetro

KUALA LUMPUR: Puluhan ‘gigitan cinta’ membaluti tubuh gebu si isteri membongkar hubungan gelapnya dengan seorang pengkid yang juga rakan sekerja sejak beberapa bulan lalu.

Pengkid ialah golongan gadis yang menganggap diri mereka lelaki dan hanya tertarik kepada perempuan.

Rahsia wanita beranak dua berusia lingkungan 20-an itu diketahui selepas suaminya menjumpai cakera padat video (VCD) yang merakamkan aksi ghairah isterinya dan pengkid terbabit di beberapa tempat di ibu kota, termasuk di rumahnya di sini.

Rakaman itu dipercayai dilakukan sendiri ‘teman lelaki’ isteri terbabit yang dikatakan menghadiahkannya bagi memperingati hubungan intim mereka.

Malah, aksi pasangan haram itu turut memaparkan beberapa gambar mereka meraikan ‘bulan madu’ pertama di sebuah lokasi rahsia, termasuk melakukan hubungan tidak sihat.

Tidak ketinggalan beberapa kata cinta seorang kekasih terhadap pasangannya seperti ‘dapat hidup bersama tersayang’ dan ‘berdoa supaya dapat berdua sehingga ke akhir hayat’ juga memenuhi rakaman dalam VCD berkenaan.

Disebabkan tidak tahan dengan perangai isterinya, lelaki berusia lingkungan 40-an terbabit membuat aduan kepada Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor (Jais) supaya mengambil tindakan sewajarnya.

Menurut sumber Jais, lelaki itu mulanya tidak mengesyaki kegiatan isterinya yang sering bekerja di luar kawasan bersama rakan sekerja terbabit.

Bagaimanapun, kegiatan terbabit terbongkar apabila suaminya ternampak puluhan ‘gigitan cinta’ pada tubuh isteri selepas pulang bertugas.

Dia juga tidak menyangka rakan sekerja itu tempat isterinya untuk melepaskan hawa nafsu.

“Walaupun isterinya menafikan melakukan perbuatan tidak bermoral dengan pengkid terbabit yang dikatakan hidup mewah, kesan pada tubuh membuatkan suaminya curiga.

“Kecurigaan itu terjawab apabila VCD yang memaparkan aksi intim dan ghairah pasangan itu dijumpai suaminya yang kemudian terkejut dengan kandungan rakaman terbabit,” katanya.

“Saya difahamkan VCD itu yang disembunyikan adalah hadiah istimewa daripada pasangan pengkidnya,” katanya.

Sumber itu berkata, ada babak dalam rakaman VCD itu dilakukan di rumah wanita itu sendiri selain di rumah pasangannya yang dipercayai menyewa di sekitar Lembah Klang.

Menurutnya, lelaki terbabit yang mendakwa isterinya seorang wanita yang baik percaya dalang sebenar adalah pengkid itu.

Pengkid itu juga didakwa mempengaruhi isterinya supaya menghadiahkan pelbagai barangan berharga, termasuk barang kemas dan kelengkapan kosmetik.

“Lelaki itu juga mendakwa tidak mempunyai krisis yang serius dalam rumah tangganya tetapi terkejut dengan perubahan ketara isterinya.

“Malah, dia mendakwa isterinya masih balik ke rumah walaupun mereka tidak serapat seperti sebelum berkahwin,” katanya.

Sumber itu juga percaya wanita berkenaan sering menceritakan masalah rumah tangganya kepada pengkid terbabit menyebabkan hubungan mereka semakin rapat hingga sanggup melakukan kegiatan tidak bermoral.

Menurutnya, lelaki terbabit membuat aduan kepada Jais bagi membolehkan kegiatan pasangan haram itu ditangani segera berikutan boleh merosakkan rumah tangga dan kehidupan anak pasangan berkenaan.

“Saya difahamkan, kami masih meneliti masalah yang dibangkitkan lelaki itu, termasuk mengambil kira masalah rumah tangga dan sikap pengkid itu,” katanya.


Kaunseling Remaja: Remaja homoseksual ketagih seks

Dr Sapora Sipon

MyMetro

Saya remaja lelaki berumur 19 tahun. Semasa berumur 11 tahun, satu detik hitam berlaku dan peristiwa itu mencorak tingkah laku buruk saya.

Pada usia itu, bapa saudara (adik kepada ayah) mengambil kesempatan mencabul dan meliwat saya.
Saya tidak berani memberitahu keluarga mengenai kejadian itu kerana bapa saudara memberi ugutan. Apabila ada kesempatan, dia akan melakukan perbuatan terkutuk itu.

Pada mulanya saya sangat marah tetap lama kelamaan semakin rasa seronok. Saya kini ketagihan hubungan seks terlarang dan kini menjadi seorang lelaki homoseksual.

Saya sering terbabit dalam aktiviti tidak sihat iaitu sering melakukan hubungan seks dengan kaum sejenis.

Saya tahu itu berdosa dan cuba sedaya upaya meninggalkan aktiviti jijik itu. Malangnya kadangkala saya tidak dapat mengawal nafsu. Apatah lagi saya kini tidak bersekolah dan pergerakan serta pergaulan lebih luas.

Saya sering memohon doa kepada Allah S.W.T supaya dapat menghindari tingkah laku buruk ini, malangnya gagal.

Adik

Terima kasih di atas luahan perasaan dan masalah adik. Nampaknya adik berada dalam konflik kerana mendapati sukar melarikan diri daripada masalah terbabit melakukan hubungan seksual dengan rakan sejenis.

Walaupun adik merasa bersalah dan berdosa melakukannya, tetapi gagal mengawal diri kerana faktor kurang dapat mengawal emosi, nafsu dan perlakuan.

Langkah adik mendapatkan pertolongan adalah satu permulaan yang baik dan menunjukkan adik cuba menjadi insan normal daripada sudut perlakuan tingkah laku seks.

Ia juga berkaitan dengan membebaskan diri daripada melakukan sesuatu yang dilarang agama. Meluahkan perasaan yang dipendam dapat membantu meringankan beban dan tekanan dialami.

Adik menjelaskan bagaimana mula terjebak dengan perkara ini dan saya berpendapat, adik dianiaya oleh orang yang dipercayai. Malangnya “harapkan pagar, pagar makan padi”.

Faktor persekitaran yang terbina melalui pengalaman inilah menyebabkan adik terjebak. Apabila adik merasakan pengalaman homoseksual pertama menyeronokkan, adik meneruskan aktiviti homoseksual secara berterusan.

Pendedahan berleluasa terhadap aktiviti homoseksual membuatkan adik semakin selesa dengan situasi ini.

Ada banyak sebab mengapa seseorang boleh terbabit dalam aktiviti antaranya ialah faktor keluarga. Contohnya, pengalaman atau trauma yang dialami sewaktu alam kanak-kanak.

Seorang anak lelaki yang sering dikasari oleh ibu akan menyebabkan anak beranggapan semua perempuan bersikap kasar, bengis dan panas baran yang memungkinkan akan berasa benci pada kaum perempuan.

Ada pandangan lain yang mengaitkan dengan faktor biologi iaitu perasaan dan nafsu itu terhasil disebabkan oleh bahan kimia dan hormon yang dikeluarkan dalam badan (luar kawalan). Bagaimanapun, pendapat ini masih lagi dibincangkan dan tidak dapat dibuktikan secara menyeluruh.

Faktor dorongan individu pula lahir daripada rentetan proses pembelajaran sewaktu kecil. Ia berlaku kerana kurangnya rasa kepercayaan terhadap ibu dan saudara perempuan (lesbian) dan sebaliknya (gay).

Individu yang kurang percaya pada potensi seksual yang ada pada diri sendiri juga boleh terbabit dalam gejala ini.

Selain itu, keinginan perasaan untuk mendominasi hawa nafsu boleh menyumbang kepada tingkah laku homoseksual. Ada individu apabila harga diri tidak boleh diperoleh dari hubungan lain menyalurkan kepada hubungan kaum sejenisnya.

Keluhan adik adalah pada peringkat pendedahan awal untuk melahirkan ekspresi diri . Sebelum ini mungkin adik berada dalam peringkat tertutup dan kini ingin berkongsi perasaan sebagai seorang gay.

Sebelum membantu mencari jalan penyelesaian membantu adik menangani masalah ini, saya akan kaitkan dengan perspektif masyarakat terhadap individu yang terbabit dengan aktiviti homoseksual ini.

Sering kali punca keruntuhan moral dan tamadun dikaitkan dengan gejala sosial termasuklah kegiatan homoseksual. Aktiviti ini mencacatkan sahsiah budaya dan kesatuan masyarakat.

Kegiatan homosekual sering dikaitkan dengan pembunuh institusi kekeluargaan. Masyarakat akan menjadi tidak sihat dan unsur negatif akan disalurkan dalam institusi kekeluargaan homoseksual. Ini mengurangkan jumlah penduduk dalam masyarakat.

Golongan homoseksual juga sering dipertanggungjawab terhadap gejala kurang sihat dan kepelbagaian masalah kesihatan seperti Aids dan STD. Walaupun jangkitan Aids dan STD disebabkan oleh pelbagai faktor, golongan homoseksual sering dijadikan penyebab utama.

Banyak cara boleh adik gunakan untuk mengurangkan keinginan homoseksual . Antara kaedah yang boleh digunakan ialah kaedah terapi aversi. Terapi ini bagaimanapun dianggap sesetengah orang sebagai kurang beretika kerana ia menyakitkan.

Terapi ini adalah satu bentuk modifikasi tingkah laku yang menggunakan rangsangan yang menyakitkan dalam usaha membantu pesakit mengurangkan tingkah laku yang tidak dikehendaki.

Dalam konteks adik ialah menggunakan terapi ini apabila keinginan untuk melakukan hubungan seks berlaku.

Satu lagi cara yang boleh digunakan ialah melalui penulisan jurnal. Kaedah ini membolehkan adik menulis apa saja mengenai pengalaman dan luahan perasaan dan harapan dalam bentuk penulisan.

Keinginan adik untuk menjauhi aktiviti homoseksual juga boleh ditulis di dalam jurnal ini.

Selain itu, untuk mengelakkan daripada memikirkan keinginan seks, adik lakukanlah kerja berfaedah kepada masyarakat seperti bergotong-royong dan sebagainya.

Intervensi berbentuk keagamaan juga adalah antara kaedah yang sering digunakan. Lakukan ibadat puasa, sekurang-kurangnya dapat mengendurkan nafsu . Lakukan ibadat puasa sunat lengkap dengan syarat, rukun dan adab-adabnya.

Puasa membentuk kita melawan hawa nafsu dengan mengekang diri daripada melakukan perkara yang boleh membatalkan atau mencacatkan puasa pada siang hari.

Puasa juga dari sudut psikologinya membantu dalam mengurangkan kegelisahan dan kesihatan mental. Seorang doktor Muslim bernama Abu Malik dalam bukunya berjudul “Puasa dalam Islam dan Fenomena Psikologis” menjelaskan puasa mempercepat proses pemulihan mental. Saya doakan adik akan berjaya mengatasi masalah homoseksual ini.

Sukar dikesan

Oleh Amir Abd Hamid
amir@hmetro.com.my
Mymetro

KUALA LUMPUR: Lelaki yang menghadapi kecelaruan gender terutama bernafsu kepada remaja atau kanak-kanak sama jantina dengannya amat berbahaya kerana mereka bertindak tanpa perikemanusiaan hanya untuk memenuhi tuntutan hawa nafsu songsang.

Pensyarah psikologi Fakulti Komunikasi dan Pengajian Media Universiti Malaya, Prof Dr Amelia Abd Aziz, berkata daripada sudut psikologi lelaki bernafsu songsang itu terbahagi tiga kategori iaitu biseksual, homoseksual dan phedophilia.

Bagi kategori ketiga katanya, masyarakat tidak akan dapat mengesan bagaimana tindak-tanduk lelaki yang berminat melakukan hubungan seks dengan kanak-kanak atau remaja sama jantina (phedophilia) kerana penjenayah itu bersikap baik dan ada ketikanya seorang yang pendiam.

“Kebanyakan kes membabitkan individu phedophilia ini sukar dikenali dengan mata kasar. Malah, menerusi kajian dibuat di luar negara mendapati ramai profesional turut terbabit.

“Bagi kes guru luar tabii itu, dia menjadikan pelajar di sekolahnya sebagai mangsa memenuhi nafsu seks songsangnya kerana menganggap ramai lelaki muda di situ (sekolahnya) yang mudah dipujuk dengan wang ringgit dan kata manis,” katanya.

Beliau mengulas laporan Harian Metro semalam mengenai seorang guru lelaki sebuah sekolah menengah di Dungun, Terengganu mengupah pelajar lelaki RM30 hingga RM50 untuk melampiaskan nafsu songsangnya.

Bagaimanapun, perbuatan keji guru berusia 37 tahun dari Klang, Selangor, yang menjadikan kuarters guru sebagai tempat memuaskan nafsu, terbongkar selepas keluarga seorang pelajar lelaki yang pernah menjadi mangsa membuat aduan polis, Sabtu lalu.

Sementara itu, Perunding Psikiatri Hospital Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (HUKM), Prof Madya Dr Osman Che Bakar, berkata ada beberapa sebab guru terbabit berkelakuan songsang, antaranya ketika kecil dia terlampau rapat dengan bapa atau ibunya terlalu garang.

Menurutnya, sejarah silam seperti itu menyebabkan seseorang itu hilang sifat kelakian yang menjurus kepada tidak yakin untuk dia memikat perempuan.

“Kecelaruan seksual yang dihadapi seseorang individu amat sukar dipulihkan kecuali dia sendiri dengan rela hati dan sedaya upaya mahu mengubah psikologinya menjadi insan yang bermoral,” katanya.

Sementara itu, Timbalan Menteri Pelajaran, Datuk Razali Ismail berkata beliau sudah mengarahkan Jemaah Disiplin dan Nazir Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah (PPD) Dungun menjalankan siasatan sebelum memutuskan apa-apa tindakan.

Katanya, jika guru terbabit terbukti melakukan kesalahan melakukan hubungan seks luar tabii dengan pelajarnya, tindakan paling keras yang boleh diambil ialah memecatnya.

Ini kerana katanya, sebagai tenaga pendidik yang memegang prinsip profesionalisme, guru terbabit sepatutnya menunjukkan teladan yang baik kepada pelajarnya dan bukannya menyalahgunakan tanggungjawab itu.

“Saya terlalu sedih apabila membaca berita yang disiarkan Harian Metro hari ini (semalam), entah di mana guru itu meletakkan nilai mulia seorang pendidik selama ini dipandang tinggi oleh masyarakat.

“Guru itu perlu sedar bahawa dia memegang kerjaya yang secara tidak langsung menjadi ikon kepada pelajar dan masyarakat bukannya ‘monster’ merosakkan masa depan anak didiknya sendiri,” katanya ketika dihubungi, semalam.

Ditanya apa pula bantuan boleh diberikan kementerian kepada pelajar terbabit, Razali berkata remaja itu akan dirujuk kepada kaunselor PPD untuk diberi nasihat secara pendidikan dan akan dirujuk kepada pakar psikiatri jika mendapati keadaan mental pelajar itu parah.

What does gay look like? Science keeps trying to figure that out

In search of "gaydar"

David Furst AFP / Getty Images
With body paint, Israeli men made their sexual orientation easy to see at the Gay Pride Parade on June 6 in Tel Aviv. But what about innate traits that might correlate with homosexuality? Finding and solidifying such links isn’t easy. Studies contradict each other, and some promising paths don’t pan out. But the result could be insight into biological origins of homosexuality.
Finding common biological traits — things like hair growth patterns, penis size, family makeup — might one day shed light on the origins of sexual orientation.
By Regina Nuzzo, Special to The Times
June 16, 2008
Last month, Sen. John McCain dropped by “Saturday Night Live,” drawing laughs from his promise, if elected president, to fight expensive federal projects — such as, he spoofed, a Department of Defense device to “jam gaydar.”

That was a joke. But some scientists are, in a way, working on gaydar, the supposed ability to discern whether a person is homosexual by reading subtle cues from their appearance. Just don’t refer to it that way. The preferred term is “sexual orientation correlates.”

These scientists are searching for innate traits that might not appear to be related to sexual orientation or even to standard clichés. So measuring a subject’s shoe size is permissible; asking about ownership of Barbra Streisand albums would be cheating. Some inborn traits might be expected if homosexuality is — as most scientists believe — rooted in biology, and they might provide clues about the biological origins of sexual orientation.

Finding and solidifying these links isn’t easy. Studies contradict each other, and some promising paths don’t pan out. (A link between male homosexuality and finger lengths isn’t holding up, and a claim that gays have distinctive fingerprint ridge patterns is largely discredited.) Scientists don’t always agree on how to interpret the results, and more progress has been made with regard to men than to women.

* Big brothers. Study after study — including one of 87,000 British men published last year — has found that gay men have more older brothers than straight men do. Only big brothers count. Lesbians don’t show such patterns.

The numbers: Each older brother will increase a man’s chances of being gay by 33%, says Ray Blanchard of the University of Toronto, an expert on the “big-brother effect.” That’s not as dramatic as it might sound. A man’s chance of being gay is pretty low to begin with — perhaps as low as 2% (lowered from 10% by researchers in the early 1990s). So having one older brother ups the chance to only about 2.6%.

What it might mean: Psychological influences are probably not at work, because the pattern holds even for gay men who weren’t raised with their older brothers. Instead, the mother’s womb might be key. After giving birth to a boy, her immune system might create antibodies to foreign, male proteins in her bloodstream. Subsequent sons in the womb could be exposed to these “anti-boy” antibodies, which might affect sexual development in the brain.

Accordingly, you’d expect the percentage of gay men in a society to vary depending on demographic differences in family size: One study calculated that a one-child-per-family law would reduce male homosexuality by about 29% from current levels.

* Left hand vs. right hand. The hand you use to sign your name might have something to do with what gender you are drawn to.

The numbers: More lefties — or at least more somewhat-ambidextrous folks — crop up in the gay population than among straight people, several studies have shown. An analysis of more than 23,000 men and women from North America and Europe in 2000 found that being non-right-handed seems to increase a man’s chances of being gay by about 34%, and a woman’s by about 90%.

What it might mean: One guess is that different-than-normal levels of testosterone in the womb — widely theorized to play a role in determining eventual sexual orientation — could nudge a fetus toward brain organization that favors left-handedness as well as same-sex attraction.

Another theory is that development of a fetus might be disturbed by factors such as a mother’s illness, steering the fetus into being less than strictly right-handed — and, in some cases, less than strictly heterosexual.

It’s a politically sticky idea, says Qazi Rahman of Queen Mary-University of London. “It’s essentially saying that homosexual preference . . . is some kind of biological error,” he says. (It might tick off the left-handed folks too.)

* Hair whorl. How does your hair grow? This might reflect your sexual orientation.

The numbers: A 2004 study of nearly 500 men — 272 on Delaware’s Rehoboth Beach, popular with gay men, 200 on a beach without that reputation — found that hair on the heads of men on the gay beach was 3.5 times more likely to grow in a counterclockwise direction. (Scalp hair typically resembles a clockwise-rotating typhoon.)

What it might mean: One theory is that a single gene might influence hair-whorl direction, left-right brain organization and, somehow, sexual orientation. Exactly how it would do all this, however, is anyone’s guess.

The study, although intriguing, suffers from a lack of scientific rigor. The author walked around while on vacation, collecting hair-whorl observations on men from a discreet distance. He didn’t know anyone’s sexual orientation for sure, and didn’t objectively examine any scalps up close. Rahman’s group is attempting to replicate the results in the lab.

* Penis size. If exposure to testosterone in the womb influences sexual orientation, scientists reckon that straight and gay people would differ in body parts strongly affected by testosterone, such as the penis.

The numbers: Anthony Bogaert of Brock University in Ontario and his colleagues re-analyzed data on 5,000 gay and straight men from sexologist Alfred Kinsey’s famous files, collected from the 1930s to the 1960s. The results, published in 1999, showed that gay men had longer, thicker penises than did straight men: on average, about 6.5 inches long and 4.95 inches around when erect, versus 6.1 inches long and 4.8 inches around for straight men.

What it might mean: Scientists don’t really know. One guess is that gay men could have been exposed to an odd mix of hormones in the womb. Testosterone levels might peak early, causing enhanced penis growth, then drop off later in pregnancy — leading to some feminine characteristics.

There’s one catch: Kinsey asked his subjects to measure themselves at home and mail a postcard recording their dimensions. It is within the realm of imagination that not every man reported the perfect truth. If everyone lied, the essence of the results wouldn’t change. It’s a problem only if gay men were more factually creative than straight men.

Bogaert says that all the measures — length and circumference, erect and flaccid — seem to plausibly line up, which probably wouldn’t be the case if the men had tacked on a vanity half-inch or so. Also, a smaller, 1960s study (in which a physician did the measuring) backs up the findings. As to whether gay or straight men are more likely to exaggerate about penis size, “It would be an interesting master’s thesis project,” Bogaert muses.

However, the next frontier in this kind of research seems to lie elsewhere — with subtle differences in how gay and straight brains navigate new cities, respond to erotic movies and react to the scent of sweat and urine.


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